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#270193 - 04/12/07 12:51 AM
Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
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hammertime89
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Registered: 11/28/06
Posts: 34
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Ok, i finally got the balls to go ahead and ask a girl what she thought of me because she messes with my head way too much since i told her i liked her. Ive been her freind since the beginning of my senior year (August). Well, turns out that she thinks i am "a really nice nice nice guy" and that she hasnt gotten over her boyfreind,who sells cocaine and weed and treats her like complete shit, and doesnt want anything with any guy. I have been there to listen to her problems and i always tried to be a good listener. That is truly the type of person i am, a caring person who tries to help anyone who need the help. I've even been more like this since i was in a car accident in which the car flipped three times and i got thrown out of it while my father got thrown out too and died. I have been trying to be a guy that anyone needs a shoulder to cry on because no one was there for me when that happened. Well, after that stuff happened thats when i saw this girl and she was beautiful and she broke up with her boyfriend who, like i said earlier, treated her like shit. I just want to know why the nice guys never get the girl and get picked on by what feels like the entire world. Sorry for the long post. Im not even sure this stuff makes sense cuz i have so much shit in my head right now.
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#270210 - 04/12/07 05:15 AM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: hammertime89]
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kmrobins
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Registered: 11/29/05
Posts: 655
Loc: ^ My true hero.
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Hate to say it, but you're a cuddle bitch - google it.
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#270232 - 04/12/07 12:06 PM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: hammertime89]
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football2634
Registered: 02/26/07
Posts: 87
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Yah man to be honest you are a cuddle bitch... and it sounds like maybe the Ex is the fuck buddy... the cuddle bitch and the fuck buddy are arch enemies lol.. and as crazy as it sounds... probably about 85% if the time... nice guys do finish last...
for example.. a good friend of mine who is a women.... was talking to these two guys... both good lookin and all that stuff... and she ended up picking the one who wasnt as nice as the other one... thats exactly wut she told me that the nice guy was perfect.. but just to nice.
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#270263 - 04/12/07 03:47 PM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: football2634]
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Shadowmage
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Registered: 05/16/06
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Well, it seems obvious that Nice Guys Finish Last because Bad Guys Finish First. I guess "bad guys" have more self confidence and attract girls easier.
Girls don't know what they want. They think they want a sensitive guy who's smart, funny and all that smit but they pick the craziest person they can find.
Now what to do with that girl? Give her some time, definitely, and wait for her to get back on track. She may not want to be your girlfriend YET, but you can make a very good friend out of her, and if things go right, you 'll be bf and gf in no time.
...Good Luck!
_________________________
Kakashi: "Mada starto to wa itenai darou"
Final Fantasy master and PSP Ninja!
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#270264 - 04/12/07 04:28 PM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: hammertime89]
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OldFolks
Tall and sexy member
Registered: 10/04/05
Posts: 2676
Loc: Just Beyond the Reach of Light
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Men seem to have this wrong on so many levels. They think they have to be the bad boy to get the girl and if they aren't the bad boy then their doormats for any jackbooted female who comes along.
Come on guys, use a little intellect and you might get the chance to put your dick to a little more use.
You don't have to be an ass.
You can be nice and still aloof. You can be amiable and still mysterious. You can be complementary while maintaining a cool dignity. You can be inviting even with a menacing air. Can guys just no longer project an, "I like you but certainly don't need you" air about themselves, it's not that hard.
Get a little... fuck that. Get a lot of self respect.
Think about how you present yourself and what it says about you.
Think about how you stand and what it says about you.
Think about how you walk and what it says about you.
Think about how you look (with your eyes) at someone and what it says about you.
Think about how you talk and what it says about you.
How are you presenting yourself as a doormat or as a challenge? Who wants to date a doormat?
You can present yourself with a laid-back aloofness, almost haughty detachment and be a nice guy still providing enough mystery to peak the interest of the object of your desires. You'll go farther with that than trying to be a dick or whining about finishing last.
_________________________
Some things gnaw at a man worse than dyin'...
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#270267 - 04/12/07 04:33 PM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: OldFolks]
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football2634
Registered: 02/26/07
Posts: 87
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I wasnt going around saying that Guys should be a complete ass... but you are totally right... let your opposite know that you like them but they dont ''have'' you... that works TRUST me on that one.
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#270280 - 04/12/07 05:49 PM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: football2634]
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flamekunai
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Right...
Iknow how you feel (about the girl thing) But i sorted this out myself.
#1 Im guessing you make yourself available when she needs you...DON'T. It's like your a puppy, she'll remember you when she's bored/needs comfort...then fucks off.
#2 You've probably gotten too close. Most girls i know don't get attracted to people they see as close friends.
#3 You probably are too nice.. Some would never admit it, but most girls like bread with the crust (in other words..guys with a bit of ''roughness').
That's what i learnt from a previous experience. Might not be true for you though
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#270338 - 04/12/07 10:52 PM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: hammertime89]
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StephieJ
aka pinkranger4
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Registered: 01/07/03
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Heres the thing. Girls LOVE having a close guy friend. Because when you hav a guy friend like that.. its comforting.. more of a comfort than having a close girl friend.
When a girl is hooked on a guy.. she can't just let him go.. she doesnt see him as a guy who sells drugs or treats her like shit.. she see's him as the guy who she loves.. the one she thinks is good for her..
Don't let this girl get you down.. cause its hard for her just to give up on the guy she cares about.. trust me.. being the girl whos gone through this.. and had a guy just like you around to make me feel better.. I know what its like.
You'll get your chance someday.. just wait.
_________________________
When people can walk away from you, let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anyone that left.
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#270629 - 04/15/07 12:07 AM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: StephieJ]
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Max
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I wrote about a page of crap on this topic but i decided just to copy and paste it from a website coz i was ranting...
"The debate of "nice guys vs. jerks" has been raging for quite a long time. The nature of being a "nice guy", however, is commonly misunderstood. It is believed that being polite, considerate, friendly, tender, romantic, etc. is what being a "nice guy" is all about and thus those qualities should be avoided, as it is the "jerk", the rude, the inconsiderate, the impolite, the rough guy who always gets the girl while the "nice guy" is waiting outside in the pouring rain with flowers in his hand.
It doesn't mean that women prefer rude over polite, inconsiderate over considerate, etc. It all becomes clear when we look at a very important issue often overlooked when trying to define what makes the "jerks" beat the "nice guys" when it comes to getting the girls. It is sexuality - the "jerks" are not afraid to show that they are sexual beings, while the "nice guys" hide their sexuality as a part of their agenda of being friendly, polite, and courteous towards women."
Should help you sort yourself out.
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#270678 - 04/15/07 12:12 PM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: Max]
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websexinfo
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Registered: 11/15/03
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To add to what Max posted, nice guys also tend to let things go where they should really stand up for themselves. For example, you're talking to a girl and she says she'll definitely call you tomorrow. The next day, nothing. The next time you see her or talk to her on the phone she says she's sorry. Most nice guys would respond, "that's okay etc." Be honest. You were disappointed you two didn't get to hang out, so say it. Something like, "I was a little disappointed, but you can make it up to me later if you want to."
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#270708 - 04/15/07 06:16 PM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: hammertime89]
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zell_ditch
Registered: 03/21/07
Posts: 84
Loc: florida
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Yo!
look!
if you are looking to be dominated for martyrdom or sainthood, let me tell you, you are going to be a doormat for everyone to step on you. this is not about being rude, but the more essential things are, the least they are appreaciated, and taken granted for they are! that is the truth.
stop being mother teresa, and get what you WANT. not what someone's else wants. and you will see yourself in the other side of the playing field.
people don't give a damn about nice guys, nor do you listen to what girls say to you, they simply want someone that is confident, and that will simply take them by the arm. women suffer from low self esteem more than men, so they are just waiting for that ASSERTIVE guy. when you ask them in the face what they want, they will tell you that they want a nice, sensitive, and blah blah blah, it is all BS! don't listen to what your mom has said to you, simply do the opposite!
stop being the cuddle bitch, and change your approach, unless you enjoy being a doormat, in that case, could you loan me five thousand bucks? i need to buy a car......
_________________________
um, who are you, again?
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#270710 - 04/15/07 06:17 PM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: StephieJ]
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zell_ditch
Registered: 03/21/07
Posts: 84
Loc: florida
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let me rephase it to you, you have had a cuddle bitch.....yet you haven't never seen him as someone that could love you because he isn't as assertive as the other jackasses?
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um, who are you, again?
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#270711 - 04/15/07 06:19 PM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: kmrobins]
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zell_ditch
Registered: 03/21/07
Posts: 84
Loc: florida
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don't be sorry, be glad that you are showing light to another lost soul.
_________________________
um, who are you, again?
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#270765 - 04/15/07 11:23 PM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: hammertime89]
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sex god
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r u retarded? nice guys finish last cause girls are not attracted to guys that put them on a pedestal. the same way that you are not attracted to ugly girls, girls are not attracted to nice guys.
now the important thing is to know the difference between a nice guy and a great guy.
a nice guys is someone who gives girls all the attention, asks her about her day, and cares for all her feelings. FUCK that dude, she has her girlfriends for that.
a jerk is someone who treats girls like shit, but has the confidence, and self assurance that girls are attracted to.
you don't wan tot be this either.
what you want to be is a great guy, the mix of the nice guy and jerk. you do this by respecting her, and show her that you don't need her. girls hate guys that are needy, they are the ones that need you! be confident, and always let her know that you have tons of other girls that want you. (the concept of supply and demand) do not put her on a pedestal, in fact, it should be the other way around. she should be chasing after you. aproach girls as if you are the prize, always keep in mind that they secretly want you. this will help you greatly in conversation.
so basically, why are girls not attracted to nice guys?
it's the same reason why guys aren't attracted to ugly girls
..... sad but true
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#270779 - 04/16/07 12:19 AM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: zell_ditch]
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StephieJ
aka pinkranger4
longstanding member
Registered: 01/07/03
Posts: 5175
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Wow.
Wow.
When I met my boyfriend... I wasn't ready to let go.. I had been seeing guys because I wasnt ready to commit because of the last jackass who broke my heart.
When me and josh first started hanging out.. I was pretty much ready to date this guy.. He was great. Hot, "assertive", tough and a bad ass. Then josh walked into the picture.. and it's like everything changed for me. He was a nice, shy, gentleman! And I turned down the bad guy for the good guy.
yet you haven't never seen him as someone that could love you because he isn't as assertive as the other jackasses?
Just because somebody likes you.. doesnt mean you have to like them back.
_________________________
When people can walk away from you, let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anyone that left.
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#271286 - 04/18/07 07:22 PM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: hammertime89]
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Nny
Registered: 04/18/07
Posts: 883
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Nice guys don't finish last.. door mats do.
You can be nice.. and still have all the qualities to attract a girl.
You just can't be an emotional tampon.
_________________________
This cut is constantly bleeding
But I know that I am wrong
Lay your head down so you don't remember
Everything you are and everything I've done
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#271331 - 04/18/07 10:27 PM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: sex god]
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Grvtykllr
Magnificent Mountaineering Member
Registered: 10/18/05
Posts: 6286
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I think you need some experience before you start ranting.
First off I am the bad bod, the long hair, the leather jackets, motor cycles, scars, out drink out smoke, always ready to fight, been in trouble wiht the law, wear sunglasses at fucking night, carry a gun and two knifes fucking bad bod.
I stopped whoring around a few years back. I have on girl who I put on a pedastal, one that I take care of, always tell her how pretty she is, how smart she is and reinforce those ideas in her head. Its nto about shitting on the girl, its about being confident. Girls like bad boys, chics dig scars, all tru enoug hin my experience, and its worked for me, but I never treated any of them like shit. I told several that we could have all teh sex they wanted but I was nota BF, I intended to fuck other girls and didnt care what they did when not with me, they are th ones that fell in love when I told them there would be none. ( it worked as prolly the greatest pick up line I ever found, I dont kno wif it was the honesty or the challenge of "getting" me on a more permenant basis but it worked well)
But I never did shit on them either. I never hit them or talked to them like they were trash.
The forula I found for meaningless sex was honesty, and treat a lady like w hore and a whore like a lady.
As to being with one girl, and not to mention Im older, I dont have to play the bullshti childish games of high school, I treat her very well, in all the time we have been together I have yet to weven yell at her or talk down to her. You dont treat someone you love like a piece of fucking meat or some trash you pulled out of the gutter.
She treats me the same.
We have had a few arguments and fights but they never got past being pissed and talking. No yelling, no screaming, no yelling and no physical violence.
you do not have to be a fucking dick to a girl to get her.
You have the wrong ideas in your head.
I jsut noticed two things.
1. the post I replyed to was currently sitting at 420, with your attitude Id say you have to be smoking dope.
2. approach her like your the prize and it helps in conversation?
Jesus fuck, your no prize, your a human and would like to be treated with respect, so would she. you are no more a prize than she is.
You have all of yuor info fucked up and wrong. you seriously need to reasses your thoughts on this because you are so far off base its not even funny.
Keep in mind Iv had more girls than Id dare to say most people on this baord, and probaly more than if you started adding people here together. Include blow jobs and that number nearly doubles. Include dates that I decided I wanted out or they did and that number sky rockets.
I have fucking triple digits son in just sex, and never once did I treat any of those girls like shit or like they were sub human or I was some great fucking prize
Edited by Grvtykllr (04/18/07 10:32 PM)
_________________________
Let's agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be.
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#300830 - 12/15/07 09:15 AM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: Grvtykllr]
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mjito
Registered: 12/15/07
Posts: 1
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hi guys
about this subject i think that the "bad" guys have better chances with girls because specially of their social character well they now what this girls wants and this basing on their experience well I'm not a social guy myself but i love watching people evolving it's very interesting and it also helps in your social life but i have one big problem I still don't trust girls at all I even one pretty girl because i though that she was just making fun of me well I'm 19 and I'm a nice guy but i can be really cold with girls sometimes specially when they try to make fun of me
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#300840 - 12/15/07 12:49 PM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: mjito]
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StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
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This topic is over 8 months old.
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#300852 - 12/15/07 04:28 PM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: mjito]
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Ineligible
Administrator
Registered: 08/09/01
Posts: 13316
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Welcome to A2A, mjito. Don't be afraid to start a new thread.
It sounds like you have problems with self-confidence - when you don't have much confidence in yourself you can think people are laughing at you when they aren't doing that at all.
Have girls made fun of you in the past?
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#314769 - 04/24/08 02:34 AM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: Ineligible]
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Someone young
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Registered: 05/20/05
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Nice guys are nice because of two reasons:
They had a severely tramatic event happen to them in thier lives.
They are really ugly.
Bad guys are assholes because of two reasons:
They've never had anything bad happen to them really.
They're really hot so even if something bad does happen, the 15 blowjobs they receive everyday help them get over it and back into a natural asshole state.
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#314770 - 04/24/08 02:37 AM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: Someone young]
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Virtual_Star
A2A Shining Star
Registered: 01/28/07
Posts: 2510
Loc: ☆ El Lay, CA
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Bullshit.
And why are you bringing up dead threads?
_________________________
No matter how gifted, you alone can not change the world. - L
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#314772 - 04/24/08 05:48 AM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: Someone young]
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Ineligible
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Registered: 08/09/01
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I don't agree, Someone young. I don't notice nicer guys looking worse that ugly guys - I've certainly known nice good-looking guys and not nice guys with no looks either.
Traumatic events don't turn nasty guys into nice guys. They lay a burden on people - of nightmares, flashbacks, phobias, anxiety and/or anger - which people respond to differently.
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#314790 - 04/24/08 11:27 AM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: Someone young]
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sdp
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Registered: 12/29/00
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That's one of the more stupid things I've heard in a while.
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#314905 - 04/25/08 03:25 AM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: Ineligible]
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GrownPastMyYears
Registered: 01/12/08
Posts: 623
Loc: California, Montebello, USA
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ineligible is correct, im one of those mean guys that became good, i had alot of traumatic shit happen to me, and im going to therapy now, but i still have flash backs, i have phobias, i have ocd's
i have a huge phobia of getting stabbed with a knife, ironically enough i cut myself on my legs, but i cant stand the though of getting stabbed in the stomach/chest/torso, i think about myself dieing that way and i want to scream my head off and pour tears out of my eyes...
when im walking down the street by myself, or with someone who i know cant protect me as well as i can protect myself, i have a tendency to look behind myself every 10-15 steps.
i have flash backs of when my bestfriend/brother died, the way that he screamed frequently haunts me in nightmares and day dreams, i twitch at night now, and i have small muscle spasms that occur almost daily.
i have terrible anxiety whenever im around ALOT of people and i cant see or think of an immediate exit route or when i cant watch everyone and have at least 5 feet between us (this ties into my phobia of being stabbed)
i suffered alot from anger, but i've over come it by going to therapy, and training my body to relax more.
but trust me, if i had to choose between 10 years of being an asshole that never knows love, or living the rest of my life with the death of countless people on my chest,
i'd choose the 10 years.
_________________________
How can my love increase for her when my words lack immaculance?
How can a boy grow to be a man when he’s fatherless?
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#314959 - 04/25/08 04:55 PM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: GrownPastMyYears]
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LTTA
Registered: 02/29/08
Posts: 258
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> i have ocd's
> training my body to relax more
That is some of the dumbest shit I've ever read.
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#314962 - 04/25/08 05:50 PM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: LTTA]
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Ineligible
Administrator
Registered: 08/09/01
Posts: 13316
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Why would having obsessions as a result of traumatic events, or trying relaxation exercises, be dumb?
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#315007 - 04/26/08 02:41 AM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: Ineligible]
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Cider
Registered: 04/03/07
Posts: 557
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Saying he has ocd's as opposed to OCD, for one. This would indicate that he probably defined them himself as opposed to a professional, but maybe not.
_________________________
...
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#315051 - 04/27/08 02:45 PM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: Cider]
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GrownPastMyYears
Registered: 01/12/08
Posts: 623
Loc: California, Montebello, USA
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i define OCD as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder,
meaning, when you do something, and you cant control yourself from doing it...
i wrote OCD's because of the fact that there are more than one...
also typically the majority of OCD's arent able to be diagnosed because of the fact that people have so many weird ones, and the doctors cant sit there and follow u around all day, diagnosing you...
for instance, i cant be inna crowded room, or i start freaking out.
whenever im walking by myself i have to look back every 15 or so steps to make shure no ones behind me
whenever i get money handed to me, i freak out if its not in this correct order
big bills in the back, all have to be face forward, and rightside up...
if a dollar bill is too damaged i exchange it.
those are a couple that people have pointed out to me, im shure i have others though that people just havent seen...
_________________________
How can my love increase for her when my words lack immaculance?
How can a boy grow to be a man when he’s fatherless?
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#315055 - 04/27/08 03:59 PM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: GrownPastMyYears]
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Virtual_Star
A2A Shining Star
Registered: 01/28/07
Posts: 2510
Loc: ☆ El Lay, CA
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I believe Cider knows what OCD is. What he's trying to get at is you can't self-diagnose yourself or claim to have a certain condition without getting checked with a professional first.
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No matter how gifted, you alone can not change the world. - L
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#315059 - 04/27/08 06:31 PM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: GrownPastMyYears]
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LTTA
Registered: 02/29/08
Posts: 258
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I believe we all know what OCD is.
> for instance, i cant be inna crowded room, or i start freaking out.
> whenever im walking by myself i have to look back every 15 or so steps to make shure no ones behind me
> whenever i get money handed to me, i freak out if its not in this correct order
> if a dollar bill is too damaged i exchange it.
None of those things have anything to do with OCD.
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#315063 - 04/27/08 07:26 PM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: Virtual_Star]
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Ineligible
Administrator
Registered: 08/09/01
Posts: 13316
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While it's important to use a professional to get an accurate diagnosis, people with obsessions and compulsions do know they have them, unlike in some mental disorders.
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#315071 - 04/27/08 09:41 PM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: GrownPastMyYears]
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sdp
Administrator
Registered: 12/29/00
Posts: 12598
Loc: San Diego, California
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Thos eare hardly OCD's..
Two are fears. The others aren't anything. I sort my bills too when I put them in my wallet. it's easier to get a bill without digging around and I can tell how much money I have if it's sorted. I'll alsoo get rid of a crappy bill first before the others.. Not OCD's
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#315074 - 04/27/08 09:55 PM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: sdp]
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GrownPastMyYears
Registered: 01/12/08
Posts: 623
Loc: California, Montebello, USA
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you dont understand what i meant by my money...
i will start freaking out if i open my wallet and the bills arent in the correct order, and i start shaking whenever im handling misguided money....
i dropped my wallet and literally jumped back from it when my girlfriend didnt put the money in correctly when she took my walet to go order food...
isnt an ocd something that you HAVE to physically do, and something that you cant control...
also i dont see how, having to look behind myself every 15 steps is a fear and not an ocd...
my sister was bar tending and a man who has ocd came to the counter and gave her 5 bucks for a 2 dollar drink, when he got the money back, each dollar he had to tap 3 times before he could put it in his wallet...
idk how a doctor would diagnose that, but im intrigued in learning more about this subject, everyone just tells me i have ocd's, and my old doctor said from what i described to him, that they were ocd's so im just confused.
_________________________
How can my love increase for her when my words lack immaculance?
How can a boy grow to be a man when he’s fatherless?
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#315075 - 04/27/08 10:11 PM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: GrownPastMyYears]
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LTTA
Registered: 02/29/08
Posts: 258
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> i will start freaking out if i open my wallet and the bills arent in the correct order, and i start shaking whenever im handling misguided money....
Not OCD
> i dropped my wallet and literally jumped back from it when my girlfriend didnt put the money in correctly when she took my walet to go order food...
Not OCD
> also i dont see how, having to look behind myself every 15 steps is a fear and not an ocd...
It is a fear. You told us you had a fear that someone is going to stab you, which is why you look behind every 15 steps... *rolleyes*
Basically, all the lies you're telling are not OCDs.
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#315076 - 04/27/08 10:24 PM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: LTTA]
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GrownPastMyYears
Registered: 01/12/08
Posts: 623
Loc: California, Montebello, USA
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what lies am i telling you,
i just said that i want to fucking learn what the hell it is, and why i do it... stop being a fucking asshole and talk to me!
the 15 steps thing, i see how its a fear now that i've been thinking about it...
ok... now, what is the reason for my money and wallet thing then, what is it if not ocd?
and what do you define ocd as
_________________________
How can my love increase for her when my words lack immaculance?
How can a boy grow to be a man when he’s fatherless?
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#315077 - 04/27/08 10:30 PM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: GrownPastMyYears]
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Virtual_Star
A2A Shining Star
Registered: 01/28/07
Posts: 2510
Loc: ☆ El Lay, CA
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This is kinda why you need professional help in figuring out what's a real illness versus a common form of perfectionism. The tricky thing about OCD is that almost everyone will have something they must do in a certain way. It's only serious if affects their everyday lives and routines, like work or school. I have list of shit I must do, but it's doesn't get in the way of how I live my life or cause me extra stress, anxiety, or depression.
But that's what I know. I don't know if I'm right, I'm no psychologist.
i will start freaking out if i open my wallet and the bills arent in the correct order, and i start shaking whenever im handling misguided money....
I do the money thing myself. To me, it's just my little form of perfectionism because I don't grow anxious or fearful. But it is something I have to do.
for instance, i cant be inna crowded room, or i start freaking out.
Claustrophobia
whenever im walking by myself i have to look back every 15 or so steps to make shure no ones behind me
Another fear.
ADDED: Read this to get a bit of understanding.
_________________________
No matter how gifted, you alone can not change the world. - L
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#315090 - 04/28/08 12:11 AM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: GrownPastMyYears]
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LTTA
Registered: 02/29/08
Posts: 258
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> what lies am i telling you,
You know exactly what lies I'm telling about. I can't prove it, but I don't need to prove it to anyone. You already know what I'm talking about, and that's fine for me.
And no, I won't leave you alone until you start telling the truth. Sorry, bud, that's just how it's gonna be. You know how to solve this problem.
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#315092 - 04/28/08 12:34 AM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: Virtual_Star]
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Ineligible
Administrator
Registered: 08/09/01
Posts: 13316
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I think there have been a number of doubtful statements about what constitutes OCD. OCD is an anxiety disorder that is characterised by obsessions and/or compulsions. Not all obsessions or compulsions are due to OCD.
Here is the official definition from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, 4th edition, Text Revised, pages 462-463:
Diagnostic Criteria for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
A. Either obsessions or compulsions:
Obsessions are as defined by (1), (2), (3), and (4):
1. Recurrent and persistent thoughts, impulses, or images that are experienced, at some time during the disturbance, as intrusive and inappropriate and that cause marked anxiety or distress;
2. The thoughts, impulses, or images are not simply excessive worries about real-life problems;
3. The person attempts to ignore or suppress such thoughts, impulses, or images, or to neutralize them with some other thought or action;
4. The person recognizes that the obsessional thoughts, impulses, or images are a product of his or her own mind (not imposed from without as in thought insertion).
Compulsions as defined by (1) and (2):
1. Repetitive behaviors (e.g., hand washing, ordering, checking) or mental acts (e.g., praying, counting, repeating words silently) that the person feels driven to perform in response to an obsession, or according to rules that must be applied rigidly;
2. The behaviors or mental acts are aimed at preventing or reducing distress or preventing some dreaded event or situation; however, these behaviors or mental acts either are not connected in a realistic way with what they are designed to neutralize or are clearly excessive.
B. At some point during the course of the disorder, the person has recognized that the obsessions or compulsions are excessive or unreasonable. Note: This does not apply to children.
C. The obsessions or compulsions cause marked distress, are time consuming (take more than 1 hour a day), or significantly interfere with the person's normal routine, occupational (or academic) functioning, or usual activities or relationships.
D. If another Axis I disorder is present, the content of the obsessions or compulsions is not restricted to it (e.g., preoccupation with food in the presence of an Eating Disorder; hair pulling in the presence of Trichotillomania; concern with appearance in the presence of Body Dysmorphic Disorder; preoccupation with drugs in the presence of a Substance Use Disorder; preoccupation with having a serious illness in the presence of Hypochondriasis; preoccupation with sexual urges or fantasies in the presence of a Paraphilia; or guilty ruminations in the presence of Major Depressive Disorder).
E. The disturbance is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication) or a general medical condition.
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#315095 - 04/28/08 12:49 AM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: LTTA]
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Cider
Registered: 04/03/07
Posts: 557
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I think you're being harsh towards him right now. There are many people who don't know what OCD really is and call things OCD when they are not. This is demonstrated by the fact that people told him what he was doing was because of OCD. He's not lying; he's merely ignorant of this topic. You don't have to get on his case about it.
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#315097 - 04/28/08 12:53 AM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: Cider]
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LTTA
Registered: 02/29/08
Posts: 258
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> He's not lying
Yes, he is. Not necessarily about this whole "I didn't know what OCD is", because obviously, he doesn't. He's lying about everything. Look behind him every 15 steps, for example.
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#315100 - 04/28/08 01:29 AM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: LTTA]
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GrownPastMyYears
Registered: 01/12/08
Posts: 623
Loc: California, Montebello, USA
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i do look behind myself every 15 steps, and alot of u guys cause me soo much anxiety by calling me a liar in every single post i make that you come across.
i come to a2a for help and advice and the only person really helping me is ineligible.
as someone who is more intelligent in a certain subject, you have the responsibility of explaining it to those less fortunate of knowing it...
just as i would help someone if they needed help with writing a song, or some basic rules for writing lyrics,
and if you feel that, that isnt a responsibility of your own, then you are ignorant of culture in the world...
being people you are required to share your thoughts and experiences with others and that is how you grow as people in the world...
if you shun every person who doesnt know as much about one perticular subject as u do, than your doomed to know of only one thing...
i want to learn of everything, or at least absorb as much as i can, and i cant do that with everyone calling me a damn liar every other post...
by the definition that ineligible gave me, and by the definition of doctors and psychiatrists, I HAVE OCD!
i get anxiety whenever my money is not in a perticular order, THAT IS OCD, i cant stand it, it drives me nuts    and the only time that i can calm myself, is once its been fixed...
my definition of ocd is something you have to do, and cannot control doing it, and if u stop it, you go crazy...
the 15 steps thing is only when im by myself or with someone who wouldnt be able to offer me any help if i were to be approached/attacked from behind,
i cant stop the reoccuring thought in my head of being stabbed from behind my back... ive seen 3 of my friends get stabbed that way, all because they didnt turn around and look... maybe its a phobia, but i wont claim for shure that, thats an ocd.
please stop harassing me, its making me want to leave a2a, if i cant even use A2A as a place to escape this terrible modern day real world life, then where else am i supposed to go?
_________________________
How can my love increase for her when my words lack immaculance?
How can a boy grow to be a man when he’s fatherless?
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#315104 - 04/28/08 01:48 AM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: GrownPastMyYears]
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Virtual_Star
A2A Shining Star
Registered: 01/28/07
Posts: 2510
Loc: ☆ El Lay, CA
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I know you're responding to LTTA but I couldn't let this part go...
being people you are required to share your thoughts and experiences with others and that is how you grow as people in the world...
...
i want to learn of everything, or at least absorb as much as i can, and i cant do that with everyone calling me a damn liar every other post...
This is what I don't understand about you. In one hand, you have this "I wanna learn" attitude. But on the other, when you're wrong and corrected, you turn around and fight until the bitter end when you feel you're right/give up, even though you're clearly wrong or until you finally get it. It's all the time. When you say A, someone will say B, and then you get all defensive.
It's moments like these that make it hard for me to take you seriously because you're so wishy washy.
_________________________
No matter how gifted, you alone can not change the world. - L
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#315106 - 04/28/08 01:58 AM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: Virtual_Star]
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GrownPastMyYears
Registered: 01/12/08
Posts: 623
Loc: California, Montebello, USA
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i just want to know why im wroung, if you explain it to me, instead of just saying your wroung, and i understand it, then ill admit that im wroung...
if i woulda just gave up for this post, than i never woulda read ineligibles post, you never woulda read mine, and so on and so forth,
i feel that you should fight for what you believe in, i think we were all taught that...
_________________________
How can my love increase for her when my words lack immaculance?
How can a boy grow to be a man when he’s fatherless?
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#315107 - 04/28/08 02:04 AM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: GrownPastMyYears]
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Virtual_Star
A2A Shining Star
Registered: 01/28/07
Posts: 2510
Loc: ☆ El Lay, CA
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i just want to know why im wroung, if you explain it to me, instead of just saying your wroung, and i understand it, then ill admit that im wroung...
Lol, but I do try to explain but you still continue to say nay. Like in our last argument, I tried to explain that the foreskin only applies to the glans, not the entire penis, therefore not adding any more girth. I try to make it as simple as black and white, but for some reason, you either don't get it or just refuse to believe it.
i feel that you should fight for what you believe in, i think we were all taught that...
Yes, we are taught to fight for what we believe in, as in our beliefs. Facts are NOT beliefs, that's the difference. That's where you get confused.
_________________________
No matter how gifted, you alone can not change the world. - L
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#315108 - 04/28/08 02:11 AM
Re: Why Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
[Re: Virtual_Star]
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