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#272364 - 04/25/07 11:11 PM
"Oh by the way, I'm infected"
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RaspberryTue
Registered: 02/14/07
Posts: 63
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About 6 months ago I got tested, ended up HIV Positive and got sent to live with my uncle and aunt, and since then I've begun to date a very nice guy up here, that I really like and is actually going to be in Fairbanks for school in August, so I'll get to see him when we move as well. What... What I'm curious about, is, when and how do I tell him? I already got my Aunt (Java's) advice, and my uncles, but I'd like several other opinions, see which seems the best. I just don't want him to freak out and not date me. It's not like we're having sex right now, and it's not advanced HIV.
Edit: Oops can you move this to the STD section? Sorry about that.
Edited by RaspberryTue (04/25/07 11:12 PM)
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#272415 - 04/26/07 09:22 AM
Re: "Oh by the way, I'm infected"
[Re: RaspberryTue]
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OldFolks
Tall and sexy member
Registered: 10/04/05
Posts: 2541
Loc: Just Beyond the Reach of Light
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What Helms said is dead on and I concur with it completely. The only thing I might add is more than just telling him, try to explain it to him. Should he not know all the facts and realities of the disease you need to be ready to assuage any possible fear he will likely have and explain that HIV does not equate to the black death, as most people seem to think it does. Further you might be ready with some outside information on the subject like web sites, pamphlets or support groups where he can go to maybe ask question he would feel uncomfortable asking you or just to get outside conformation of the disease as you have explained it to him.
I don't know if that helps any or will help any but it seems the most reasonable thing to me and is as good as I can come up with.
_________________________
Some things gnaw at a man worse than dyin'...
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#272434 - 04/26/07 11:59 AM
Re: "Oh by the way, I'm infected"
[Re: RaspberryTue]
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Sexpert
longstanding member
Registered: 01/16/03
Posts: 3951
Loc: sAN dIEGO, cA
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I would say that besides the need to tell him, also suggest attending support groups together, and HIV seminars like HIV 101 or other workshops that break down the disease into easy to understand language, but facilitated by a professional. If he's into you enough, an HIV diagnosis will not be enough to tear him from you.
I'm not sure where you live, since some places don't have good access to care, but you obviously have access to the web so do a search for resourses in your area. Find an agency in your city that has plenty of referrals to everything from free haircuts for positives to dating services among positives (if your current guy decides to bail). I wish you luck in your endeavours.
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#272436 - 04/26/07 12:10 PM
Re: "Oh by the way, I'm infected"
[Re: Sexpert]
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RaspberryTue
Registered: 02/14/07
Posts: 63
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I actually discussed support groups with Java, she asked if I wanted to go, that she would drive me and such, but I really don't need a support group. I'm fine with it, I mean, I'm young and stupid for now and that's enough to get me through.
We're all one car ride away from dying, you know? I feel confident enough in myself, and my family to lean on them if I need it.
We have a date tomorrow night, I figure...I'll some how bring it up then. Maybe tell the story of how I got it and such.
Thanks guys *hugs*
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#272457 - 04/26/07 01:55 PM
Re: "Oh by the way, I'm infected"
[Re: RaspberryTue]
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PepsiChaser
~* Superwoman *~
Registered: 02/08/05
Posts: 2984
Loc: Nor-Cal
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Good luck with that honey! I thought it was hard to have Herpes...But on that note, as freaked as so many guys were, I did find me a WONDERFUL one.
We just use proper precautions and he knows the risks.
And yeah, I know, I am comparing totally different diseases, but I know the fear of rejection feeling.
I suppose I should also add, that being straight up has been the best approach for me.
_________________________
"Be who you are and say what you feel 'cause people who mind don't matter, and people who matter don't mind." Theodor Seuss Geisel
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#272480 - 04/26/07 03:39 PM
Re: "Oh by the way, I'm infected"
[Re: RaspberryTue]
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Sexpert
longstanding member
Registered: 01/16/03
Posts: 3951
Loc: sAN dIEGO, cA
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Yeah, the support group thing was just one of my suggestions. and believe me, I know as good as N-E-1 death is around the corner for all of us, virus or none. The big picture I was trying to relay is getting informed. Not just the disease, but what resourses you have at your disposal. Being yound and stupid is OK, but not young and ignorant. We have too much information around us to be that. So again, support groups are just the tip of the iceberg. If you really want to live a healthy lifestyle, which it sounds like you do, eat well and such as you have bee, but also have your blood checked every three months for 2 very important things (You should memorize these numbers even though they will change at each blood draw): CD-4 count and Viral load...2 VERY important things to know. One tells you how well your immune system is doing (CD-4) and the other tell you the amount of virus that's being replicated in your body. It's important not to ignore this disease, or even consider it a "whatever" disease just because we see people like Magic Johnson living with it and doing fine. This virus is still a killer, and it still has scientists baffled. Dying is not the concern, we're ALL going down that path, but if you can prevent a long, drawn out death, wouldn't anyone choose to do so?
_________________________
axe yo mama fo sum cheez/tell her u need sum restitution lyk the vietnamese/in vietnam cuz Rahzel drops da bomb/more complex thn text in yo holy koran
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#272491 - 04/26/07 04:47 PM
Re: "Oh by the way, I'm infected"
[Re: ]
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Sexpert
longstanding member
Registered: 01/16/03
Posts: 3951
Loc: sAN dIEGO, cA
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My brother, N-E-Time. If I can be of any help, that's what I'll do. We'll be in touch for pallet burning Fo Sho.
BTW, your friend from La Paz hasn't called yet.
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