1 registered
(1 invisible)
and 20 anonymous users online.
|
|
|
#288717 - 09/03/07 03:04 AM
Is there an end?
|
StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
|
Offline
|
|
Is there ever an end to depression?
I really wanna know what it feels like to not be depressed for more than a month, I really do.
I'm fucking 18, and can't say I've ever been able to be happy for that long before I get real depressed again because of completely random shit, just because.
So, to anyone who knows... is there ever an end to this? I'm not so sure anymore...
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#288722 - 09/03/07 03:57 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: StillSearching]
|
Virtual_Star
A2A Shining Star
Registered: 01/28/07
Posts: 2510
Loc: ☆ El Lay, CA
|
|
Offline
|
|
Good question.
I personally don't believe that depression can ever end. But I do believe one can be happy for a while until shit happens and you're in an emotional state for a while. I've come to terms with that and believe that's just how life is. You gotta take in the bad with the good and learn.
I've been depressed since 16 and I'm not that much older than you (21). Right now in my life, I have no complains and I'm living a pretty good life. But there are times, I'll have moments where I'm so hard on myself that I feel like I should give up trying to build a future for myself.
My boyfriend also suffers, even more so than I. He's been on medication since he was a teenager. And, even though he takes anti-depressants twice a day, there are times when he will say the most hurtful things about himself and becomes really emotional.
But most of the time, we are happy because we are lucky. We're lucky that we have each other and that's what keeps us happy most of the time. And we do hit a bump, we are there for each other for support, which helps tremendously.
I know I'm better off than some people but that's what I know.
_________________________
No matter how gifted, you alone can not change the world. - L
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#288735 - 09/03/07 07:01 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: StillSearching]
|
Ineligible
Administrator
Registered: 08/09/01
Posts: 13316
|
|
Offline
|
|
Don't forget that one of the effects of depression is that it makes you feel it will never end, even though logically you know it has in the past and so logically you expect it will again.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#288771 - 09/03/07 05:29 PM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: StillSearching]
|
StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
|
|
Offline
|
|
> I've come to terms with that and believe that's just how life is
If that were true, every single person in the world would be depressed. Obviously that's not true, so it must be something else.
> I've been depressed since 16 and I'm not that much older than you (21).
But the point I was trying to make is... I've been depressed my entire life. At least you were not depressed for 15 years, I want to know what that feels like.
> we are there for each other for support, which helps tremendously.
I'm glad you have someone that can help with support. Not everyone does.
> Don't forget that one of the effects of depression is that it makes you feel it will never end
I know that's one of the effects of depression. I'm just wondering in general if this will ever end, or if I have to feel like shit for the rest of my life, however long that may be.
> and the stories you make up about your life
What does that mean?
> but if you begin to se things n a positive light.....it just might begin to help.
That's great advice... for someone who's never dealt with depression before. Unfortunately, I have, and I've had plenty of times where I exactly that and after so much wrong shit happening, and me constantly trying to look at it in a positive light, I just realized I'm just constantly lying to myself everytime something bad happens.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#288775 - 09/03/07 06:18 PM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: StillSearching]
|
Virtual_Star
A2A Shining Star
Registered: 01/28/07
Posts: 2510
Loc: ☆ El Lay, CA
|
|
Offline
|
|
If that were true, every single person in the world would be depressed. Obviously that's not true, so it must be something else.
I meant that's how my life is, not everyone in the world. But that's just my belief.
I'm glad you have someone that can help with support. Not everyone does.
And that's why I said I'm lucky. I know not everyone is as fortunate as me.
_________________________
No matter how gifted, you alone can not change the world. - L
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#288780 - 09/03/07 06:57 PM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: StillSearching]
|
xrachx
Registered: 08/13/07
Posts: 34
Loc: london
|
|
Offline
|
|
well to be honest there is but i personally cant keep my mind off of depression. This probably sounds sad/stupid but i find my life boring without depression and just cant stop thinking about it and i do miss it when im not so im a sense a part of you doesn't completley get over it.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#288844 - 09/04/07 01:43 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: xrachx]
|
StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
|
|
Offline
|
|
> And that's why I said I'm lucky. I know not everyone is as fortunate as me.
I hope you realize just how lucky you are. Just to have someone like that who knows what you're going through and can help you through it... if I had someone like that, I wouldn't mind depression at all. But when I realize the fact that I don't have anyone like that, it's just very depressing.
anyway, please enjoy what you have, even though other things may not be that great. At least you have someone.
> This probably sounds sad/stupid but i find my life boring without depression and just cant stop thinking about it and i do miss it when im not so im a sense a part of you doesn't completley get over it.
It's not sad/stupid, I understand 100% where you're coming from. I've thought about that exact thing many many times before.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#289801 - 09/12/07 01:08 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: StillSearching]
|
JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 239
Loc: California, USA
|
|
Offline
|
|
Does it ever end? No, never. Right now to be ahonest I feel the worst I have ever felt in my entire life and judging where things are headed I wont be here very much longer.
_________________________
Life's A Fleeting Dream Don't Let It GO............
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#289802 - 09/12/07 01:17 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
|
Ineligible
Administrator
Registered: 08/09/01
Posts: 13316
|
|
Offline
|
|
Tell us about it, JEDI. What is happening?
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#289803 - 09/12/07 01:21 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
|
StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
|
|
Offline
|
|
I'd like to know what's going on as well.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#289804 - 09/12/07 01:23 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: StillSearching]
|
JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 239
Loc: California, USA
|
|
Offline
|
|
Let's just say I know what Anakin Skywalker was going through.
Edited by JEDI-ALCHEMIST (09/12/07 01:24 AM)
Edit Reason: misspeling
_________________________
Life's A Fleeting Dream Don't Let It GO............
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#289805 - 09/12/07 01:24 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
|
StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
|
|
Offline
|
|
Woudl you care to elaborate? It's been a while since I've watched Star Wars, but I may have a slight idea what you're talking about.
If you don't wanna say it here, I'd be happy to talk on PM or MSN/AIM (you name it)
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#289806 - 09/12/07 01:28 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: StillSearching]
|
JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 239
Loc: California, USA
|
|
Offline
|
|
Rather not too risky.
_________________________
Life's A Fleeting Dream Don't Let It GO............
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#289807 - 09/12/07 01:29 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
|
StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
|
|
Offline
|
|
What's too risky?
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#289808 - 09/12/07 01:30 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: StillSearching]
|
JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 239
Loc: California, USA
|
|
Offline
|
|
Talking, people can learn too much.
_________________________
Life's A Fleeting Dream Don't Let It GO............
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#289809 - 09/12/07 01:32 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
|
StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
|
|
Offline
|
|
I live on the other side of the country, so you have nothing to worry about from me.
And take it from someone who knows more than most: Talking can be a wonderful thing.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#289810 - 09/12/07 01:37 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: StillSearching]
|
JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 239
Loc: California, USA
|
|
Offline
|
|
That has got to be the funniest thing I have ever heard. I'm sorry I mean no offense, and no disrespect. But to me it does.
_________________________
Life's A Fleeting Dream Don't Let It GO............
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#289811 - 09/12/07 01:38 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
|
StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
|
|
Offline
|
|
Is it funny?
Do you understand that I wouldn't be alive right now if I hadn't decided to talk? How funny is that?
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#289822 - 09/12/07 02:24 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: StillSearching]
|
JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 239
Loc: California, USA
|
|
Offline
|
|
You have no idea how sorry I am for making that rude insensitive uncalled fucking idiotic comment I apologize from the deepst of my heart and hope that you can forgive me. I truly truly am sorry :-( :-( :-( :-(
Edited by JEDI-ALCHEMIST (09/12/07 02:25 AM)
Edit Reason: Spelling error
_________________________
Life's A Fleeting Dream Don't Let It GO............
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#289825 - 09/12/07 02:28 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
|
StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
|
|
Offline
|
|
Don't worry, I'm not worried about it. I don't let words like that affect me.
Just be careful about what you say and try to respect other people's comments more, even if they do sound funny/stupid to you.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#289831 - 09/12/07 02:36 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: StillSearching]
|
JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 239
Loc: California, USA
|
|
Offline
|
|
Don't worry, I'm not worried about it. I don't let words like that affect me.
Just be careful about what you say and try to respect other people's comments more, even if they do sound funny/stupid to you.
_________________________
Life's A Fleeting Dream Don't Let It GO............
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#289833 - 09/12/07 02:38 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
|
StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
|
|
Offline
|
|
> for me talking about it never seemed to help
I see.
> But it seems everything is back on the train tracks
I'm glad that you did find an end to all this. Hopefully I'll find my end sometime
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#289837 - 09/12/07 02:52 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: StillSearching]
|
JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 239
Loc: California, USA
|
|
Offline
|
|
> for me talking about it never seemed to help
I see.
> But it seems everything is back on the train tracks
I'm glad that you did find an end to all this. Hopefully I'll find my end sometime
Edited by JEDI-ALCHEMIST (09/12/07 02:54 AM)
Edit Reason: spelling error
_________________________
Life's A Fleeting Dream Don't Let It GO............
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#289838 - 09/12/07 02:59 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
|
StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
|
|
Offline
|
|
> hate to sound like an asshole
You don't sound like an asshole. You're just stating an opinion/some advice, nothing wrong with that.
> It will end
I wish I could believe that. I really do.
> You may not be all happy streak free sunshine
I don't want to be "happy streak free sunshine"-like. It's probably not even possible for me to ever be like that, but that's not what I'm asking for. I just want to live a life without depression (for at least a while, if anything).
> I've been in and out of mental hospitals
I wish I could say that I've been to a mental hospital. At least I would be able to say "I have mental problems" or something like that.
> And it will not end in a coffin.
You're right, it won't end in a coffin. After I die, no one would bother to put me in a coffin. I'll be lucky if I become part of the dirt in the ground.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#289842 - 09/12/07 03:03 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: StillSearching]
|
JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 239
Loc: California, USA
|
|
Offline
|
|
> hate to sound like an asshole
You don't sound like an asshole. You're just stating an opinion/some advice, nothing wrong with that.
> It will end
I wish I could believe that. I really do.
> You may not be all happy streak free sunshine
I don't want to be "happy streak free sunshine"-like. It's probably not even possible for me to ever be like that, but that's not what I'm asking for. I just want to live a life without depression (for at least a while, if anything).
> I've been in and out of mental hospitals
I wish I could say that I've been to a mental hospital. At least I would be able to say "I have mental problems" or something like that.
> And it will not end in a coffin.
You're right, it won't end in a coffin. After I die, no one would bother to put me in a coffin. I'll be lucky if I become part of the dirt in the ground.
_________________________
Life's A Fleeting Dream Don't Let It GO............
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#289843 - 09/12/07 03:06 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
|
StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
|
|
Offline
|
|
I don't always have someone to talk to. I wish I did, but there's really only one person I can talk to, and he's not always available when I need him for obvious reasons, since he has work, family, etc.
These days I'm just trying to take it one day at a time. Who knows what will happen tomorrow? I could be dead tomorrow, you never know.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#289847 - 09/12/07 03:15 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: StillSearching]
|
JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 239
Loc: California, USA
|
|
Offline
|
|
I don't always have someone to talk to. I wish I did, but there's really only one person I can talk to, and he's not always available when I need him for obvious reasons, since he has work, family, etc.
These days I'm just trying to take it one day at a time. Who knows what will happen tomorrow? I could be dead tomorrow, you never know.
_________________________
Life's A Fleeting Dream Don't Let It GO............
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#289849 - 09/12/07 03:20 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
|
StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
|
|
Offline
|
|
I don't just talk to any random person about my problems. Sometimes I'm even surprised that I tell one person everything that I tell him...
And besides, if I talked to someone (i.e. you) it would take way to long to explain everything going on. There's so much weird/wrong shit going on in my life...
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#289851 - 09/12/07 03:43 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: StillSearching]
|
JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 239
Loc: California, USA
|
|
Offline
|
|
I don't just talk to any random person about my problems. Sometimes I'm even surprised that I tell one person everything that I tell him...
And besides, if I talked to someone (i.e. you) it would take way to long to explain everything going on. There's so much weird/wrong shit going on in my life...
_________________________
Life's A Fleeting Dream Don't Let It GO............
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
#289948 - 09/13/07 04:40 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: StillSearching]
|
Saracita
Registered: 09/13/07
Posts: 3
Loc: Opelousas, Louisiana
|
|
Offline
|
|
Hey
I was diagnosed with depression and bi-polar when I was 13. I've been taking anti-depressants and other meds since then (they're finally taking me off of them!) I'm 18 now. I really was a complete mess. From the time I was 13 till about a year ago actually, I was a bad cutter. I attempted suicide when I was 16 and came about 10 minutes from dying. And for a little while after seeing my family around me crying, I thought I could be happy, because I realized that my family really did love me. But it had nothing to do with my family. It had nothing to do with anyone. Depression is all about yourself. Your concept on life. Everyone has shit that happens in their lives, that isn't the best, some people just deal with it better than others. I read how you said you don't like talking about your feelings to people. I know how you feel, I was the same way. I always felt like they were my problems, why bring other people into it? So I kept a journal. Whatever I was thinking I wrote. If I was thinking about suicide, I wrote it (hey I was busy writing, not trying to kill myself). If I was pissed off at my mom, I wrote about how much I hated her and wished she would die.. Of course I didn't mean it, but it made me feel a hell of alot better. I use to write in my journal everyday, I probably have about 5 notebooks, every page filled (its pretty interesting to go back and read). Now I only write when I'm depressed, pissed off, or if I just have something on my mind, because I don't like talking to people about my problems too much. I guess after being sent to counselor after counselor, and psychiatrist after psychiatrist you get tired of telling your life story over and over. So just write it day bay day.. You know whats going on with you.
I can't guarantee you that one day the sun is just going to be shining and theres gonna be a great big rainbow, and then you're just going to be the happiest person ever. Most likely that won't happen. I've learned that there isn't COMPLETE happiness. But hey, you only live once, don't focus so much on the bad stuff, look around, there's more good in the world than you think. I was surprised myself!
You'll never be happy if you expect a perfect life. Deal with problems one at a time. But for every joke you hear, laugh harder, because for those couple seconds you're laughing, none of you're problems are even on your mind.
Things will get better, I promise.
Remember 10 out of 10 people die, don't take life too seriously =]
Sorry if that was really long, but I hope you read it and got something out of it.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#290069 - 09/14/07 04:35 PM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: Saracita]
|
StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
|
|
Offline
|
|
First off, thanks for replying I guess
> And for a little while after seeing my family around me crying, I thought I could be happy, because I realized that my family really did love me
So what would've happened if your family didn't care at all?
> So I kept a journal. Whatever I was thinking I wrote
I've always wanted to be able to do that. I've tried several times to write down what I'm thinking but I just can't do it... I think it would help myself if I could just write down everything that I'm feeling, but I can't ever seem to do it...
> you get tired of telling your life story over and over
That's one reason why I can only really talk to one person in the world... he's the only person that will ever know who I really am and what I was really like...
> don't focus so much on the bad stuff
When I'm surrounded by it, it's hard not to focus on it.
Then there are times when everything seems to be going just fine... but then I'll get randomly depressed for no reason and just feel like complete shit. Like I've said before, everytime it starts to look like it's getting better, *something* will come along to make it worse again.
> You'll never be happy if you expect a perfect life
I have enver asked nor expected a perfect life. All I want is for there to be a time when I'm not always feeling down and depressed... it gets kinda old after 18 years, you know?
> But for every joke you hear, laugh harder
I honestly can't remember the last time I laughed. Or truly smiled (meaning all the smiles I have just for my work are not real smiles, obviously). The last time I felt good was last night... when I was drunk off my ass. Is that the only time I'll ever feel good, when I'm drunk or high? What kind of life is this?
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#292172 - 09/28/07 01:50 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: StillSearching]
|
Saracita
Registered: 09/13/07
Posts: 3
Loc: Opelousas, Louisiana
|
|
Offline
|
|
Trust me, no matter how much it seems like your family does not care, they do. They care alot more than anyone ever thinks. Even if they don't show it. But like I said, it isn't all about who cares about you. You need to care about yourself. Even if no one in the the world cared about you which is impossible even though it feels that way sometimes, you need to have enough confidence in yourself so that you can be like "Fuck the world I'm better than all ya'll anyway!" Meaning you don't need anyone to succeed or to make you happy. Do what you know makes you happy. There's got to be something that you enjoy doing. If you can;t write do something else, music, drawing, whatever..
I know it is hard not to focus on the bad stuff because it's around, it will always be around. Find the good in life, it's there, kind of takes alot of searhing but believe me it is there.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#292173 - 09/28/07 01:58 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: Saracita]
|
StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
|
|
Offline
|
|
You're wrong on so many points that I don't even know where to begin. But I'm too tired to do all that, so I'm going to sleep.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#292180 - 09/28/07 07:43 AM
Re: Is there an end?
[Re: StillSearching]
|
Afterhours
Registered: 07/10/07
Posts: 59
Loc: hi
|
|
Offline
|
|
I have to agree with Still here.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
Moderator: Amanda, Amz, cenfath, ClassyBlackWoman, Ineligible, LoveBritish, NtroducingMyself, Roc, sdp, ~AngelWitch~
|
