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#298039 - 11/20/07 08:38 PM
Does anyone...
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StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
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... ever get real depressed for no reason at all? This happens a lot to me and I'm real tired of it happening.
If it does, what do you do about it, if anything?
Right now I don't feel like doing anything at all, even though the last few days I've been doing something (the only thing) I enjoy a lot, but when I get depressed like this I don't even feel like doing that.
Though it may be the wonderful holiday season coming up, or Thanksgiving. Boy, do I have a lot to be thankful for...
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#298043 - 11/20/07 10:31 PM
Re: Does anyone...
[Re: StillSearching]
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Littlebit2unique
Registered: 11/16/07
Posts: 72
Loc: Right here next to friends, fa...
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I used to... when i first started puberty, I was told that it was all my hormones changing.
but I don't get depressed anymore because I believe that I make my mood. so I'm happy all it that time because I make myself that way.
maybe try looking at life in a more positive way?? :o/
_________________________
A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.
[Hugh Downs]
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#298052 - 11/20/07 10:47 PM
Re: Does anyone...
[Re: Littlebit2unique]
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StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
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thank you for replying at all
Unfortunately, I can't make my mood. If I could, I obviously wouldn't be depressed.
> maybe try looking at life in a more positive way?? :o/
Yeah, not such great advice, but thx for trying...
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#298055 - 11/20/07 10:50 PM
Re: Does anyone...
[Re: ]
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StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
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> This holiday season might be a bit difficult for you, given your circumstances
What do you mean, given my circumstances? You probably don't remember last year at christmas I made a post... give me a minute and I'll find it.
> With that said, maybe you might find it fullfilling to volunteer at one of the shelters or an old folks home.
Funny you should mention that, because I've been doing exactly that today and yesterday, and again tomorrow. I don't see what I should find fulfilling though
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#298059 - 11/20/07 10:55 PM
Re: Does anyone...
[Re: ]
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StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
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> Well, it's not like you'll be going to home to hang with the family and choke down massive amounts of food
You make it sound like I've ever done that before....
> It's just a giving thing - which brings good karma.
Cool, now I have good karma. Can I transform that karma into depression-free days or something, that would be great..
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#298063 - 11/20/07 11:04 PM
Re: Does anyone...
[Re: ]
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StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
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> Crap, it's been another year - ALREADY??~!
Yup, one more year full of depression. Sweet.
> I assume that you're still working, paying rent, getting your own little niche carved out in the world
Yeah, about that... not really doing that anymore. I'm actually back at my parents house for a few weeks...
> you may not get all the fancy presents
Fancy presents? Stop kidding around, Helms.
> I admire what you have been doing over the past few days. Don't lose that thing inside of you - that cool, kind, giving thing. It's very very cool man. Very cool.
I already know I've always had a thing for helping people, I just wish I could help myself some day... so far, not so good
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#298065 - 11/20/07 11:15 PM
Re: Does anyone...
[Re: StillSearching]
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Ineligible
Administrator
Registered: 08/09/01
Posts: 13316
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When I get depressed there is usually something that has set it off, but it may not be obvious. It may be a "last straw" thing, or something that's subconscious.
I'm proud of you for doing voluntary work.
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#298066 - 11/20/07 11:17 PM
Re: Does anyone...
[Re: Ineligible]
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StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
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> I'm proud of you for doing voluntary work.
You wouldn't be proud of me if I told you everything I've done over the past 10-14 days...
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#298080 - 11/21/07 12:43 AM
Re: Does anyone...
[Re: ]
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StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
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But I was feeling alright the last 2-3 days (like I said, I finally picked up on something that I used to enjoy doing, and was enjoying it again) and today for no reason at all, I'm down again
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#298090 - 11/21/07 01:11 AM
Re: Does anyone...
[Re: ]
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StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
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It all sounds good on paper (or on the screen), but it's about a billion times harder to actually do it...
It's hard to change your way of thinking when deep down inside you see no point in doing so (which I know is the depression, but I have yet to find a way to change THAT part) ..
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#298122 - 11/21/07 12:43 PM
Re: Does anyone...
[Re: StillSearching]
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Sexpert
longstanding member
Registered: 01/16/03
Posts: 4007
Loc: sAN dIEGO, cA
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Listen, Search, your depression is in need of a makeover. If every year you know you're gonna be depressed, then do something about it. Don't involve yourself in those mysterious activities you're not telling us about, that would not make us proud of you. Don't assume that your mysterious "great" activity that you have is going to pull you out of a slump. You just said yourself its about a billion times harder than that, so it's not like a simple activity you enjoy is going to pull you out of a LIFELONG slump (I know that's not what you meant BTW). Last year you thought your depression what cuz you were living at home with a fucked up family situation...WHATEVER. This year it will be a new excuse, because the depressed mind will ALWAYS find the smallest thing to dwell negativity on. You either need to find professional help, (I know, youre broke. That's why there are government programs that work on a sliding scale for folks who are broke) or you need to change your attitude yourself. Its one of the two, man. No one here is gonna do shit for you. It's either you helping yourself or a professionally trained doctor, what's it gonna be? You can't expect anything less, but you CAN expect more.
Maybe some people here will relate to you and say, "Yeah, you know what, I'm always down in the dumps around this time of year." GREAT. How is that supposed to help your situation?
The way I pulled out of a depression in my teens was by observing the world a lot more closely. Reading history, human attrocities, the way of the world, suddenly makes my situation not seem as bad. But I know what youre gonna say, "Im glad that worked for you but...da da da." It sounds to me like a part of you enjoys the suffering. And this is true, at least it was for me, that part of me WANTED to keep feeling sorry for myself. It was the most attention I could get. My own misery, or having others feel sorry for me, was actually helpfull. Now I'm never sorry for myself, no regrets, no shame. It's a 180 degree turn from how I used to be, and I pulled MYSELF out of it. You on the other hand might need the guidance of a professional. Either way, it leads to the path of hapiness, if you WANT to go that route.
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#298131 - 11/21/07 02:48 PM
Re: Does anyone...
[Re: StillSearching]
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PepsiChaser
~* Superwoman *~
Registered: 02/08/05
Posts: 3019
Loc: Nor-Cal
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Littlebit was right, as are the others here.
Depression is horrible. I deal with it every year, I am aware that I deal every year.
I have to do stuff to head it off before it comes, or it creeps right in and takes over my whole winter.
The fact that I do like to go hide in the cozy covers, doesn't help a bit. I am finding my way out of it, by making commitments that I can't break. Simple small ones, that don't really matter to me, but mean a lot to other people around me.
Helms is right about the karma. Sexpert and Littlebit are right about it being a decision to get better. Maybe some pro help is in order, but maybe just a shift in your thinking. Hell get mad at it and go for a run, or tell it to fuck off, your gonna enjoy today, then do it. (NO it isn't easy, but you might find that if you get angry at the depression, and try to stand up to it like you might do a jerk person, you might run it off)
_________________________
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -- Theodor Seuss Geisel
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#298137 - 11/21/07 03:39 PM
Re: Does anyone...
[Re: Sexpert]
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StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
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> I know it is, but you can begin by stopping the doing things that you aren't proud of, the things that you don't want to talk about.
Ok, the thing I was talking about which I knew Pete wouldn't be proud of is my recent cocaine binge (3-4 days), where I spent all my money and therefore went home and begged for help. Better?
> It sounds to me like a part of you enjoys the suffering
It's not that I enjoy it, but it's all I've ever known. How do you guys expect me to pull myself out of it when I've never seen or felt the alternative to what I'm feeling now?
> It's either you helping yourself or a professionally trained doctor, what's it gonna be?
Right now it's a professional psychiatrist who has prescribed me some anti-depressants. Hopefully that will work eventually.
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#298140 - 11/21/07 03:49 PM
Re: Does anyone...
[Re: StillSearching]
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Sexpert
longstanding member
Registered: 01/16/03
Posts: 4007
Loc: sAN dIEGO, cA
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EXCELLENT!! I mean, we're always here. For support or if you need to vent or whatever, but I know you did the right thing by seeking help. I love you like a homie, you know, a close friend even though I've never met you. But there's not a lot I can do for you at this end of the computer screen. You did the best thing for yourself.
I wasn't asking you to disclose what you did, but now that you did, I will tell you that of the very few times I tried coke, it made me feel like shit, so I can relate to that. I also know that it gives you a false sense of reality. I tried it again last year with a cousin in Venezuela and that just confirmed it, I will NEVER touch it again. That shit stinks.
Listen, I don't expect you to just "pull yourself out of it." I was able to do it, but that's just me, and everyone deals with stuff differently. I taught myself just about EVERYTHING I know in life, since I grew up isolated from friends and family (emotionally) so this fell right into place for me. My parents never knew (well, maybe they suspected) I was depressed and suicidal. I'm just happy now....my mom asked me last night if she's been a good mom, on the verge of tears, of course. I told her yes, she had been great, even though inside I knew it was bullshit, but I also gave her examples of why she was a great mom. I feel no need to dwell in the muck I used to live in.
If you need to talk about stuff I'll send you my email to your PM.
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#298145 - 11/21/07 04:27 PM
Re: Does anyone...
[Re: Sexpert]
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StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
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> but I know you did the right thing by seeking help
I guess, I just wish I didn't have to go to my parents for help...
> I also know that it gives you a false sense of reality
I dunno exactly what you mean by that, but I knew that I was screwing myself hardcore by spending my money (and luckily I was doing it with someone who had money available to spend and didn't mind sharing, which is why I was doing it for 3-4 days.. I know I was up for 3 days straight, though), but at the time I didn't care what would happen (that's what coke does to me).
> I will NEVER touch it again
I said the same thing after my first cocaine binge (over the course of a month or so) ... unfortunately, I couldn't keep that promise.
> I taught myself just about EVERYTHING I know in life
Yeah, same here. Everything I know I learned on my own, but Pete has taught me a thing or two since I've known him.
> If you need to talk about stuff I'll send you my email to your PM.
Go ahead. You never know.
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#298148 - 11/21/07 04:50 PM
Re: Does anyone...
[Re: StillSearching]
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Sexpert
longstanding member
Registered: 01/16/03
Posts: 4007
Loc: sAN dIEGO, cA
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I'm proud of you man! I really am. BTW I sent that info right after I posted my last one. You didn't get it yet?
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#298150 - 11/21/07 04:59 PM
Re: Does anyone...
[Re: Sexpert]
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StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
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Why are you proud of me? I don't get it.
And you sent it to my PM? If yes, I didn't get it
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#298154 - 11/21/07 05:09 PM
Re: Does anyone...
[Re: StillSearching]
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Sexpert
longstanding member
Registered: 01/16/03
Posts: 4007
Loc: sAN dIEGO, cA
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I'm proud of you for seeking help man. Even if you went to your parents to do it, you sought help, and that says a lot.
Mike Tyson just spent one day in prison, but it would have been a year or more, for cocaine posession and other stuff. The judge took into consideration that before he got busted, he was trying to rehabilitate himsef. He put himself in rehab, basically.
I'll re-send you that info.
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#298158 - 11/21/07 05:24 PM
Re: Does anyone...
[Re: Sexpert]
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StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
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> Mike Tyson just spent one day in prison, but it would have been a year or more, for cocaine posession and other stuff.
I know, I heard it on the radio the other day. Just another reason to hate celebrities: They don't get punished for their crimes (one day in jail for cocaine possession? wtf?)
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#298161 - 11/21/07 06:11 PM
Re: Does anyone...
[Re: StillSearching]
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Sexpert
longstanding member
Registered: 01/16/03
Posts: 4007
Loc: sAN dIEGO, cA
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BUT...he had to wear pink issue underwear in tent city. I guess the dude who runs it is a real SOB and built an open air prison to cut down overhead costs. He also has his prisoners wear pink issue underwear. It's his way of saying, "Don't come back."
I agree though, one DAY?!?
Nicole Ritchie had to serve 84 minutes in jail, which I find even MORE pathetic.
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#298164 - 11/21/07 06:33 PM
Re: Does anyone...
[Re: Sexpert]
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StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
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They have to wear pink underwear in the jail you mean? I wouldn't care, since everyone and me are wearing the same color underwear.
> Nicole Ritchie had to serve 84 minutes in jail, which I find even MORE pathetic.
Yeah, wtf. What makes celebrities so special that the normal sentences don't apply to them?
It's not even only celebrities. This big shot football player from my high school got a full scholarship to play ball at some college. The summer before he went, he was arrested in a different state for driving drunk. He never got charged and still got the full scholarship.
I got arrested for simply being drunk and blowing a .18
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#298174 - 11/21/07 08:47 PM
Re: Does anyone...
[Re: StillSearching]
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Sexpert
longstanding member
Registered: 01/16/03
Posts: 4007
Loc: sAN dIEGO, cA
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Were you underage when you blew that .18?
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#298177 - 11/21/07 08:57 PM
Re: Does anyone...
[Re: Sexpert]
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StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
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Yes, which is why it was pointless for the cop to make me take a breathalizer.
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#298182 - 11/21/07 09:24 PM
Re: Does anyone...
[Re: StillSearching]
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Sexpert
longstanding member
Registered: 01/16/03
Posts: 4007
Loc: sAN dIEGO, cA
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I only had to blow once. The cop left to rescue a girl on the opposite side of the freeway who had fallen out of a moving vehicle. He left and told me to drive safe, but the whole time he was testing me, I could hear her SCREAMING for help, and he still made me go through all the physical tests. It wasn't till AFTER I blew in the breathalizer that he went to go rescue this girl, about 20 minutes later.
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