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#299337 - 12/01/07 02:43 AM
you know
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Someone young
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Registered: 05/20/05
Posts: 496
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its pretty sad the people around here
Ive searched like this entire board and havent found anyone that seems to have a real excuse to be majorly depressed like i do
Except that one guy who was like 32 and still a virgin.
Everyone else needs to get over that theyre "gf that went out with them 3 days broke up with them"
seriously
I'm 17, a guy, a complete virgin, never had a lasting girlfreind, im bi, and have never done anything with a guy, im ugly as fuck, never have had a best frend before, no one's ever "loved" me before, one of my wish-they-was best freinds just moved to st. louis, the other one is getting to old for me and we're drifting apart, i had a major cosmetic surgery to correct my deformed lookin nose, which still turned out bad, i get picked on everyday and bitched out by GIRLS at my school who hate me and think im a complete loser, my parents don't beleive me when i explain that my school life sucks and i wanna be homeschooled, they say "oh i think your imagining things i bet you really do have freinds" which no i don't and i really get depressed at school everyday, and my parents also don't beleive in anti-depressents cuz they think they're drugs, and i try so hard to find some weed to smoke or something to take my mind off all of this, but every time i get a chance, something gets in my way, also my parents wont let me drive. I wanna be a singer when i get older because im an amazing lyricist and songwriter but my voice sucks and it sounds like a drucken hillbilly hick. I'm also 5'4 and the shortest guy in my grade. I have bad acne, and hair that is so fuzzy and puffy that nothing can control it. When i turn 18, i dont wanna move out because i have no where to go, and im too depressed to actually get out and do something, because my job would also be miserable, unlike my best freind who is hot and gets girls all the time at his work. Every aspect of life is against me.
I think the ONLY thing missing from my life is my parents don't beat me, but the restrictions they put on me is emotional abusing enough.
I'm seriously going crazy. I once had a productive mind. I culd write music and do things i wanted. But now those things, like writing and playing piano, i can't even do anymore. I just NEED something good in my life to happen!
I need someone to come along!
Or I need something to make my confidence go up!
I don't want my whole life to be a "behind the scenes" life
I don't want to have wasted my whole teenage life living in fear and steped on and controled by everyone around me.
And i dont want to grow up and do a job that no one appriciates.
Like working in a factory.
It sucks that my best freind who literally has like a perfect life is out there street racing, risking his life all the time just to have fun, and not even caring about his own life, when his life would be one I would love to have, and he could simply give it away and not care....I hate people like that...
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#299339 - 12/01/07 03:18 AM
Re: you know
[Re: Someone young]
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Someone young
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Registered: 05/20/05
Posts: 496
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ANd you know whats pretty damn sad too is i was going through all the threads i once posted and i posted one just like this listing soma the same stuff and this was over two years ago and only thing diff now is this is a longer list...
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#299340 - 12/01/07 03:33 AM
Re: you know
[Re: Someone young]
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Virtual_Star
A2A Shining Star
Registered: 01/28/07
Posts: 2533
Loc: ☆ El Lay, CA
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Ive searched like this entire board and havent found anyone that seems to have a real excuse to be majorly depressed like i do
I'm sorry but you have no idea how wrong you are. You can't compare your depression to everyone else's. The situations may be different, but the emotions are the same.
Just something you should keep in mind.
_________________________
No matter how gifted, you alone can not change the world. - L
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#299372 - 12/01/07 02:02 PM
Re: you know
[Re: Someone young]
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StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
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> Ive searched like this entire board and havent found anyone that seems to have a real excuse to be majorly depressed like i do
Like Star said, you can NOT compare one depression to another (one thing I learned over my many years of depression).
Anyways, if you really want someone to be like you, then I'm your guy. Why do you think no one on this board has responded to your thread after I started posting in there? Because they know that I'm probably the only guy around who can actually say I know how you feel.
- I'm a virgin (probably always will be, but I don't care about it so it doesn't bother me)
- I've had a girlfriend, but lost her due to my own stupid fault.
- I'm ugly
- I had one best friend. I watched him get hit by a car and die.
- No one has ever loved me. I've never even had a hug in my entire ilfe before.
- I have no friends (I've had maybe 5 friends my entire life; I'm 18).
- I used to get picked on everyday by everyone around (including [extended] family, neighbors, anyone who ever came in contact with me pretty much)
- At least your parents care, right? I never had that. Ever.
- Also, I used to have glasses which I hated, but I have contacts now.
- I have Type 1 Diabetes, which is incurable and I'll have to deal with it the rest of my life.
So if you really need to find someone who has a similar "reason" to be depressed, there's a few of them for you.
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#299401 - 12/01/07 05:46 PM
Re: you know
[Re: Someone young]
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ClassyBlackWoman
Moderator
Registered: 10/08/06
Posts: 1312
Loc: Georgia
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It's not like you gave overwhelming "excuses" to be depressed. From what it looks like, you're just a normal teenager.
Like the others said, you can't compare your situation to others and say they don't have valid reasons to be depressed.
What if I told you should grow some balls and deal with it? Would you feel invalid? Nonexistant? Well, when you tell people they don't have a reason to feel the way they do, you are invalidating their feelings.
_________________________
~*~Don't make someone a priority when you're only an option~*~
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#299751 - 12/05/07 01:42 PM
Re: you know
[Re: Someone young]
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Sexpert
longstanding member
Registered: 01/16/03
Posts: 4007
Loc: sAN dIEGO, cA
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>>>never have had a best frend before,...
>>>unlike my best freind who is hot and gets girls...
>>>It sucks that my best freind ....
I agree with your parents, you're a lil confused about not having friends. We all have inner deamons, even those you see as having a *perfect* life. First of all, that does not exist. The perfect life belongs to those who die in the crib and never had to experience all the drama and BS of being alive. So in that sense, you will never have a perfect life cuz you didn't die way back in the day.
If you're a great lyricist, you can collaborate with someone who does have a good voice and they can sing your songs. I'm currently in that process because I have a bad voice too, but my neighbor has a good singing voice. HEY, you can even make a friend this way, maybe a BEST FRIEND.
Keep doing what you love man, the people who become the most successful are usually the outcasts of society. Not the super popular everyone wants they're phone number type people. It's very easy to lose intrest in some superficial ass popular kid. People with substance and value and ideas are the ones who come out on top. And all artists MUST suffer for their art to be genuine expression, otherwise you have a lot of artists who are creating shit, like most that are out there today.
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#299820 - 12/06/07 03:47 AM
Re: you know
[Re: Sexpert]
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Someone young
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Registered: 05/20/05
Posts: 496
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Alright well to StillSearching
Anyway to clear it up for everyone first, yea, I do have 1 best freind, he's not a bad guy, but he happens to be that 1 in a million guy basically.
Cuz he's generally all around that "cool guy" who really does get to know people for who they are.
Like, basically, he hasn't washed his clothes in over 6 months, rarely takes a shower, and all that mess, and he has such naturall good looks that the girls are STILL all over him.
And he's a really good freind at times, it just sucks, cuz no matter how much i try to be attractive or whatever, he always gets the attention, just cuz on that feild, me and him are exact opposites, and he's on the good end.
And it just sucks for me, because i feel like shit when i look at how his life is.
But hey StillSearching im sorry about the your best freind died in a car accident. The way things look for me tho, i imagine that happening to me, i worry about it all the time. My best friend is always street racing, and has a reputation for driving stupid, and he's already had 2 wrecks. When i tell him that basically "why do you race? you could get killed?" and he says "well if i die at least i had fun"...and when i mention he's the only freind i have, and if he died, ide pretty much have nothing....he still doesnt seem to care....i just think it's selfish but oh well...
Oh yeah forgot if i mentioned it or not, but im pretty much gay, with the exeption there's a few girls i would do. A disease all in its self, at least that's what it is to most people. People hate you, and you get treated like your contagious.
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#299897 - 12/06/07 04:02 PM
Re: you know
[Re: Someone young]
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StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
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> yea, I do have 1 best freind
Well that's one more than I have, so you're already off to a good start.
Even though it doesn't sound like he's a good friend at all. Maybe you need to somehow make him realize that he needs to listen to what you have to say sometimes (like you worrying about him getting killed).
> People hate you, and you get treated like your contagious.
Actually, the obviously gay guys I saw in school were always hanging out with the hottest chicks. Always thjought it was weird, but since then I've seen several examples of the same thing (gay + hot chicks chilling) so that may seem normal somehow.
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#299952 - 12/06/07 08:41 PM
Re: you know
[Re: StillSearching]
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Someone young
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Registered: 05/20/05
Posts: 496
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yeah ive noticed that....but im not flamboyant or anything...
I'm just kinda the nerdy type of gay guy so that doesn't really work...
Also kinda depends on where ya live...the southeastern US is pretty much anti-gay, where places like Cali prolly have gay mayors and mess and no one cares.
And i live smack right in the middle of a boonie town in Tennessee where alotta people's parents are over 50 when the kids are just 5 years old.
So yeah, my town pretty much reflects what people thought a really long time ago.
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#299964 - 12/06/07 09:33 PM
Re: you know
[Re: Someone young]
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StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
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One thing I've noticed about is that you put a LOT of emphasis on stereotypes. For example, you think you have a "wrong" nose, based on looking at other people. You can't look the "rocker" type (because of your nose). You think all ugly people are unhappy. You get my point.
Don't you ever want to make up your own mind about things like this? Why do you want to let everyone but yourself decide things for you?
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#305847 - 01/27/08 03:27 AM
Re: you know
[Re: StillSearching]
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Someone young
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Registered: 05/20/05
Posts: 496
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Well ok:
1. Video Games do not excite me.
2. I don't have any freinds to hang out with (now officaly the only two people i had will never be my freinds again cuz they hate me now)
3. Nerdy things like pokemon cards dont entertain me.
4. I HATE sports
5. I love music and ide like to be in a band but my parents won't let me.
6. I dont have that cool look so no one wants to be in a band with me.
7. Drugs and sex and alchohol and freinds and having good looks is the only things that can entertain me, and ive fully went over the reasons i can't get a single ona those.
Im a "social, out-going, rock hard, party person" stuck in a insanely ugly person's body/face.
I was literally born in the wrong body i think.
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#305857 - 01/27/08 05:11 AM
Re: you know
[Re: Someone young]
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RainNightBlue
member
Registered: 05/07/05
Posts: 485
Loc: NP, NE
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I may not be a doctor, but I'm in Second level Psychology, and I have learned that Depression isn't just about circumstances. It's also about interpretation. A man who lost his family, eyesight, dog, and life savings in a fire can be entirely happy, while a man who lose his World of Warcraft girlfriend will commit suicide.
Fact: chemical receptors feed off habitual emotion.
The longer you're depressed, the harder it is to become un-depressed
Fact: Depression is as much a physical ailment as it is a mental one.
The Body and the Mind are integral to one another. They may be treated as a virtual world in a physical body, but in reality, even your thoughts are directly connected to the physical realm. Theoretically, if you could read chemical synapses, you could read thoughts.
----
I'm not trying to tell you what to think, or claim to "treat" you, or whatever else you may interpret this as. I am telling you that you cannot claim you are the only 'really' depressed person. Depression is a physical ailment as well as mental ailment. One can cause the other. The way a person is raised will define how their body treats their emotions and in some extreme cases, depressive thoughts and feelings can be caused by simply dropping your candy cane. (That's an extremely introverted case though).
I'm 17, a guy, a complete virgin, never had a lasting girlfreind, im bi, and have never done anything with a guy, im ugly as fuck, [et al]
I was a virgin until I was 18. Being honest, I felt depressed about it at the time, too. Now I wish I'd never lost it (mainly for romantic reasons, I'm a sap)
An over whelming majority of my ex girlfriends have left me for little to no reason for someone else (assuming they didn't cheat on me first). That gets me down sometimes to.
Why is being Bi so bad? Do what you want. Why does it matter if you've never been with a guy? Lots of poeple go into their 20s without having ever done anything with anyone. My friend Steve for example: he surfs christian clubs for girls to play spades with.
You're ugly as fuck: who cares? You can't change what you are. I can't change that my back curls like child Forest Gump and my tongue bleeds when I eat. I can't change that I'm never going to be taller than 5'6" and 135 lbs, and I've never been heavier than any of my ex girlfriends.
To be honest, it sounds to me as though you have convinced yourself that you should hate your life and yourself.
_________________________
A woman's faults are many,
but men have only two.
Everything we say,
and Everything we do.
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#305883 - 01/27/08 04:31 PM
Re: you know
[Re: RainNightBlue]
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Ineligible
Administrator
Registered: 08/09/01
Posts: 13492
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I agree, RainNightBlue.
And you may not know that Someone young has in fact posted his pictures here, and he is not in the least bit ugly. It's remarkable how the mind can see things in such a distorted way.
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#305892 - 01/27/08 05:12 PM
Re: you know
[Re: Ineligible]
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RainNightBlue
member
Registered: 05/07/05
Posts: 485
Loc: NP, NE
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Many times, people see what they need to see to keep the receptors in their minds full of negative chemical synapses.
_________________________
A woman's faults are many,
but men have only two.
Everything we say,
and Everything we do.
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#307270 - 02/08/08 06:44 PM
Re: you know
[Re: Someone young]
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JM2007
Registered: 07/18/07
Posts: 21
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You have to think positive.
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#313358 - 04/05/08 04:11 PM
Re: you know
[Re: JM2007]
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Someone young
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Registered: 05/20/05
Posts: 496
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i love to talk to phyciatrists, not because i take advice from them, but because they are the only people who are on the same mentality level as me (all phyciatrists have scientific ideas for depression, but they all think it has to do with chemical imbalances, while i think that, even though being ugly may not cause depression, i think that being ugly will always cause you to have a bad life no matter what, and the chemicals in your brain decide how much you can handle that, and in my case, i can't handle it, and i think im ona the only true depressed people, because i have major problems, and if any of those ever fix their self, even for a day, i love life and i get so happy, untill the problems come back.
I love chain reactions, i beleive that everything in life connects with something else and makes it happen. That's the point of alot of time travel movies. you can go back in time and step on a bug, and 1000000000000 years later the world may be way different.
Ok ima say my "chain reaction" for having a bad life, but not necisarily being depressed, because im a naturally happy person.
Toddler years - I was born really ugly and weird looking,and ive always looked different from other kids in a weird way.
Kindergarten - It is a proven fact that kids, even in kindergarten, form connections with people who look more normal or "like them". That's why in kindergarten, different raced kids dont talk to each other much and the kids seem to start to "pair up" with kids who seem to be the most like them on the outside. Black kids talk to black kids, whites to whites, uglies to uglies, cuties to cuties. Its the most simple example of human connection. And so when i go into kindergarten looking very different and almost "special", no one ever talked to me in kindergarten (and yes i have a outstanding memory, i remember so many days and occurences in my kindergarten class and how i felt on things then). People did in my class actually think i was "special" as many people in my class thought at first thought i was handicapped in someway, like once i raised my hand in class and one girl said "i thought he couldnt talk!" meaning she thought i had something wrong with me. in another instance, someone thought i was deaf, and that it was the reason no one talked to me....and if you look "special" little kids tend to blame things on "there must be something wrong with your brain" instead of its just the fact that you look so different from them that they wont talk to you. And so in kindergarten, kids make friends or dont, and the kids who look normal and make friends suddenly start their life of being accepted and in a cool group of kids, while the loner kids are forced to keep themselves occupied being alone so they get into nerdy things like video games and pokemoncards, so they're, from kindergarten, forced to be sorta in a loser group they're whole life. Cuz like, in my experiace, kids dont MAJORLY form hobbies and interests until kindergarten or afterward. the time before kindergarten, kids will just generally "be interested in many random guy or girl things" and nothing will be too specific. Pretty much always its either Disney Princesses, or Batman and X-men.
And so, if you are ona the people who look ugly and different, you will be forced into being alone and being into nerdy stuff no matter what, and by the time you grow up, you wont realize you only "love world of warcraft" because you've never experianced anything more fun. And that was me till 3 years ago,, i thought i loved my life, but i slowly started seeing the things normal people do, like sex, parties, friends, fasion, and social life, and i realized that's what im into...and whats holding me back from all that is STILL how i look!
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#313362 - 04/05/08 04:26 PM
Re: you know
[Re: Someone young]
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Someone young
member
Registered: 05/20/05
Posts: 496
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and if being ugly, a loner, and not being able to experiance a single thing i love because of my status and look, of coarse it'd cause me to be depressed...who wouldnt be depressed if they couldnt do a single thing they loved to do or couldnt even get a decent looking girlfreind?
And yes you can change how you look, thats what plastic surgery is for. and i had my nose done, although the doctor was a scam artist and absolutely ruined my nose and made it deformed, and now its collapsing and i have trouble breathing and my nose looks like someone broke it majorly. and im planning on getting it fixed this summer.
But thing was, my nose actually looked good for the first couple months after the surgery (it takes a whole year for a nose job to heal and looks right, its a long process) but my nose was still sorta swollen for the first few months as all nose jobs do, and it covered up all the deformites and bad places and sink ins, and made it look normal, and i looked amazing....and guess what??????
For the first time, i was soooo happy, and i made tons of friends, girls were all over me, and i was being social, and i was accepted my so many people, just because my deformity was temporarily fixed and i looked normal and cool and i was happier and more confident.
And i noticed, as SOON as my nose started to collapse because of a bad healiing issue, which occasionally happens in nose jobs, all doctors say so, my nose started to look real funny, and now i have a deviated septum, which makes my nose veer to the left, and makes a huge dent in my nasal bride, and since the diviate septum formed in the middle of the healing process, it ruined how the tip of my nose looks and healed, and same with the rest of my nose, and now i have trouble breating also.
But i noticed as soon as my nose started looking really weird, peope started treating me worse, girls weres as all over me, people generally didnt see to accept me anymore,and it caused me to be really depressed again.
And I KNOW that my nose, and how my face looks, subconsiosly effected how people thought of me, as everyone usually likes people better if they look better, and find people annoying no matter what if they are ugly. And although no one sits there and says i have ugly nose, your nose tremndously effects how you looks, and me, it makes me look chubby and "special" in the face since my nose is so wide an the tip is so wide, and in turn, it makes people think i look different and loserish in general.
Ive even had one person say that i looked somehow better at the first of the school year (right after the nose job) than now.
and i took tons of picures at the begginning of the school year after suregy and my nose was smaller and i looked so cool and kinda hot. and pictures now, i look like a loser and really weird, because my nose, becuse of the bad healing and cartiladge deformites, my nose became alot bigger again and more fatty, and again almost just like my old nose (even all the nose doctors say that the cartiladge in your nose, if you make it skinnier, will try to flare back out until the scar tissue heals, which takes months. and my doctor didnt properly push that cartiladge together enogh and it healed still wide and fatty looking.)
And i know its a subconcious thing in people cuz i told NO ONE at scchool that i had a nose job.
Edited by Someone young (04/05/08 04:29 PM)
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#313368 - 04/05/08 05:03 PM
Re: you know
[Re: Someone young]
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Someone young
member
Registered: 05/20/05
Posts: 496
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And @intellagible
Your are like 1 out of 3 peopel in the world that have said i look normal and dont add anything like "but your not hot" or "your cut but well i probably wouldnt get with you though your not my type"
So your not really gonna convince me....
Like every girl ive ever met says "im cute but not their type" and when EVERY single person says that, it means im no one's "type" and no one's type is "ugly" cuz no one wants someone who is 100% unnatractuive and not hot in ANY way, so im ugly.
And like i said, i mean im ugly to the fullest, i have absoutely NO and not 1 attractive feature about me, every SINGLE thing on my body is either defomed, bad, or just bad.
My hair = puffy strange afro if i dont spend 20 mins straigtning or geling it.
Eyes = one is a slight lazy eye, and that same eye socket is crooked, because when i was a little kid i had a injury to that area.
Nose = MAJORLY deformed. I have maybe the world record biggest , fattest, rounded tip of the nose on a white person. The bridge and nasal bone is sunken down and collapsing, called a Saddle Nose Deformity which is common in bad nasal surgeries which i had.
Mouth = I have a constant natural frown because of stressd and baggy facial skin.
Jaw = i have maybe the widest jaw in my school, many of people make fun of it.
Chin = my chin is unlevel, like this \ only definatly not as bad and barely noticable.
Neck = naturaly wide neck muscsles that are wider than my face at at "looking down" position, making my neck look like John Hcck's (jeffree star's freind/maybe ex-boyfriend).
Shoulders = i have really wide shoulder, as i get many comments from strangers asking me if i play football. This does not work with the style im going for, which effects everything.
Chest = i have a deformity in my chest which doesn't allow me to have "muscle boobs" at all, which i sorta want them.
Stomach = I have a beer belly dispite i look anrexic (explained next)
Back = i have a severe introverted back, causing my very skinny belly to stick out a disporportionate level and also causing me to walk funny (my back looks like a "S" )
Thighs = i have naturally beefy thighs (from my mom) not good on a guy.
Butt = i have a black girl butt, and people make fun of me for it, cause by my back deformity.
Genitals = i have a pearly pauples or whatever the fuck, its like a tremendous white head breakout on your genitals, and looks like a std although it isnt. and ive had it since 6th grade.
Legs = i have hairy bear legs which ive recieved so much shit for.
Knees = my knees are really deformed and knotted.
Lower legs = i have tremendous leg muscles that look awful
Feet = size 12, hairy, deformed arch, and both "big toe" 's are so big that i had to have surgery on them because wearing shoes with them caused me to have ingrown toenails.
BUT the only things im concerned about right now, cuz i dont care about the other, is my back, my hair, and my nose, so i think im being pretty sensible.
Also one thing, i think ide be ok looking, if i was a football player. the whole "thick, buff, husky, beat up, dented bones, and stressed" look i have is just like many football people my age.
Difference there is i absolutely hate football, never played it or even WATCHED it a day in my life. Im the exact oposite, personality and fashionwise, of a football player.
On the inside, im sorta a Scene/Emo/Hardcore/Rockerish guy who loves metal and fashion and shops at Pac Sun/Hottopic and listens to bands like Cradle Of Filth, In Flames, Avenged Sevenfold, Atreyu, Marily Manson, ect, ect.....and my whole body and look doesnt fit that at ALLLL! -_-
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#313371 - 04/05/08 05:06 PM
Re: you know
[Re: Someone young]
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Someone young
member
Registered: 05/20/05
Posts: 496
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And just one more thing to agrivate you people.
If ANY of you were to ever think my avatar is ME then no, read my signiture.
I'm a 17 year old guy.
That avatar is Jade, my favorite singer.
So hopefully no one got confused there.
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#313386 - 04/05/08 07:51 PM
Re: you know
[Re: Someone young]
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Virtual_Star
A2A Shining Star
Registered: 01/28/07
Posts: 2533
Loc: ☆ El Lay, CA
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And so, if you are ona the people who look ugly and different, you will be forced into being alone and being into nerdy stuff no matter what, and by the time you grow up, you wont realize you only "love world of warcraft" because you've never experianced anything more fun. And that was me till 3 years ago,, i thought i loved my life, but i slowly started seeing the things normal people do, like sex, parties, friends, fasion, and social life, and i realized that's what im into...and whats holding me back from all that is STILL how i look!
I'm sorry but I can't help but feel a bit bothered by this comment. Personally, I'm not hot by media standards and I'm very different, but I don't fit that mold you made up.
I'm a plain jane, tomboy-ish type of girl. I never wear makeup, I don't fix up my hair, and the only shoes I wear are my Converse. I could very easily make a list of my physical flaws, like you did. But I'm sure everyone else in the world can do the same. I mostly wear jeans and graphic tees, mostly of Japanese mascot designs, animated shows, and other things people would consider are for kids only. I'm a video game junkie, listen to Japanese music, and go to conventions that no person with diginity would dare to go.
So, basically, I'm a geek who's into geeky stuff. But I wasn't "forced" into this stuff. I'm into this stuff because I like them ever since I was ten, just like how people are into sports, music, books, or whatever. And just because I'm an unattractive geek doesn't mean I'm missing out in life. I don't like parties, modern fashion is not for me, and sex is overrated, lol.
Here's what I'm trying to get at though. Realisticly, I'm not "hot" and neither is my boyfriend. I don't take care of myself because I'm not really vain in the first place. We're not models, we're just regular people. But we still have a lot of confidence because we encourage one another. And because of it, I feel attractive. I'm still not a size two, but who fucking cares? Random strangers don't know who I am. Looks can only go far. Beauty is not forever, but who you are is. Even if you spend a million dollars on plastic surgery, you're still the same you inside.
Even before I met him, I still had the same attitude (minus the confidence boost). I always believed that no one should ever have to change who they are or how they look for anyone. It's a matter of finally realizing what people think about you doesn't matter. How you look isn't what's holding you back. You're holding yourself back. Because these ignorant people told you these things, you're now putting physical looks on a high pedestal. Even to the point where you're making the same shallow judgements.
You shouldn't have to change your appearence because some dumb fuck makes a comment about you. In the end, you're going to be happier being yourself rahter than having to conform yourself to satisfy society. I understand if you want to fit somewhere and be friends with other people. But you're fine just the way you are, and if someone says something, fuck them. People do that because they're insecure about themselves and they need to put down others to make them feel better.
If someone else says something about you nose or anything else, tell them to pull their head out of their ass so they can see better. You're a human being and deserve to be treated with respect.
_________________________
No matter how gifted, you alone can not change the world. - L
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#313461 - 04/07/08 03:54 AM
Re: you know
[Re: Virtual_Star]
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Someone young
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Registered: 05/20/05
Posts: 496
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Yeah, i mean people like you definatly are yourselfs.
I mean yes there are alotta people out there who like unpopular things because that's just them and even if they were to experiance other things they don't like them.
But there's also people like me who LOVE to be socially popular, LOVE to go to parties and LOVE to be stylish and stuff like that.
I mean i have nothing else to do with my life.
Whereas you go to conventions, and have your boyfreind, and the confidence that comes along with that, because your being yourself, i have nothing.
I just want to be myself, and just because 'myself' is someone who loves social and popular things, doesn't mean thats not 'myself'
If the things i liked werent popular, ide still like them.
Ide still like parties if all the supposed 'dorks' went to them.
I'de still love fashion even if only 'dorky' people were into fashion.
Ect, ect.
All you people seem to think that everyone is naturally nerdy, and choose to be into social and popular things just because they are shallow and hot.
You don't get that it just so happens that many things that i like to do can only be done by hot and popular people and thats why im depressed.
But yeah i still do think there are people like me, mainly people who were born deformed in some way, who would much rather live a normal social life than being stuck home all day doing things by themselves and looking a certian way that is ugly "to them".
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#313463 - 04/07/08 03:59 AM
Re: you know
[Re: Someone young]
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Someone young
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Registered: 05/20/05
Posts: 496
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and one more thing, personally for me, i really like people who are themselves no matter what type of person they are because if you are 100% you, then you are cool in my eyes, because like, my untimate goal is to be myself so i look up to that.
But i think my case falls in a case not many people can understand. Most people are born somewhat normal looking to the point they can easily, without much critisim, decide what they want to look like or dress like or be into without much trouble. But see me, i personally think i was born with some type of deformation that effected my whole body. (like ona my sister's friends was born with like a spine deformity and she's majorly short, she has a really deformed face, her eyes are popping outta her head, and she can't eat right, and her whole body is just deformed...and while my case isnt definatly as bad, i do think i have a small spine deformity so it coulda caused a small body deformity for me)
So yah i think it is hard for me.
Because where most people can generally decide who they are and just live life being them, im kinda forced to be someone im not because of my looks...and im forced pretty much to be bored all day, or hang out with a rare freind that really gets on my nerves, and be turned down by every single girl i ever like.
Edited by Someone young (04/07/08 04:00 AM)
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#313468 - 04/07/08 04:34 AM
Re: you know
[Re: Someone young]
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Ineligible
Administrator
Registered: 08/09/01
Posts: 13492
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The thing is, I see nothing wrong with your looks at all. I see no deformity, no unattractiveness.
I really think it might be body dysmorphic disorder.
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#313469 - 04/07/08 04:43 AM
Re: you know
[Re: Someone young]
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Java_Addict
Longstanding Member
Registered: 03/02/05
Posts: 4822
Loc: My heart's in Israel
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I thought you said you didn't have a best friend?
Anyway, please please please do not take this post the wrong way.
THEN GET UP AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
I dont know what else you expect us to say =/ either we're older, and went through the same thing and are either a) Did something and love where we are, or b) Are old, and still pissed about out situation.
Step one: Don't complain about your life. Your parents love you, and are doing the right thing by not taking you out of school, and not giving you drugs. The restrictions they put on you, they do because they love you.
Step Two: Get a job.
Step Three: Get a car.
Step Four: Reevaluate your goals in life to realistic ones that make you just as happy.
Step Five: Don't complain about being ugly, because just because you think you are, doesn't make it so. And there are about a million non-surgical things you can do to alter your appearance to more suit your liking.
Step Six: Move out when you are 18 if you want, at this point you should have a car, and a job.
Step Seven: Your confidence wont go up until you have a social setting outside of school, which is achieved by Step Two, and this step where you: Get a hobby. You like writing, get on myspace and try to hook up a band together and be their lyricist. You don't need to be a good singer to be popular, look at most musicians today!
Step Eight: Get laid to a girl you love, most people don't lose their virginity until after high school anyway, don't rush it.
Step Nine: Quit your job, and get a better one. By now you should be out of high school, and thinking about college, or a career. Now is a perfect time to take a step towards a better job.
Step Ten: Take a vacation or trip, this should probably be done before you quit your job and get a new one, but what the hell. Go on a road trip with no destination. You could use it.
Step Eleven: You should be well into 18, maybe almost 19, call your parents and tell them you love them, and that they did a great job in raising you.
Step Twelve: Reevaluate your goals again. Always keep doing this throughout your life, because priorities constantly change, you never know what might be coming up to change your whole world.
Twelve step program to getting a life!
_________________________
Pinatas promote violence against flamboyant animals.
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#313504 - 04/07/08 03:03 PM
Re: you know
[Re: Someone young]
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Virtual_Star
A2A Shining Star
Registered: 01/28/07
Posts: 2533
Loc: ☆ El Lay, CA
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But there's also people like me who LOVE to be socially popular, LOVE to go to parties and LOVE to be stylish and stuff like that.
I mean i have nothing else to do with my life.
That's great. So, go join clubs or social groups that have the same interests as you. Make new friends and make parties. And wear whatever you feel like wearing. You just need to gather your courage up to walk out the door and hold your head up high.
You're right, I can't 100% understand how you feel because you're more of a social person. Whereas, I'm a person who likes her solitude at times. But if being social is what you want, then go do it.
All you people seem to think that everyone is naturally nerdy, and choose to be into social and popular things just because they are shallow and hot.
I'm sorry, but what?
You don't get that it just so happens that many things that i like to do can only be done by hot and popular people and thats why im depressed.
You don't see it now, but that's wrong. Soon, when you leave high school, being "hot and popular" isn't as great as it seems nor will it do any good in the real world. There's no such thing as a "hot and popular" contest or anything. It's all about how you carry yourself. If you allow people to judge you solely on your physical appearance, then you allow them to step all over you. And that's how you can never change unless you stand up for yourself and tell people to treat you like a human being.
The real world is hard and scary. That's why you have to do your best to stand up and fight back.
Most people are born somewhat normal looking to the point they can easily, without much critisim, decide what they want to look like or dress like or be into without much trouble. But see me, i personally think i was born with some type of deformation that effected my whole body.
Then you need to find some way to deal with it, from the inside. Like I said, you can have a million dollars in plastic surgery but you're still the same you inside.
Here's a quick story:
When I was about six or seven-years-old I had the bad case of the chicken pox. After it went away, I was left with these red marks on my forehead. When I went back to school, I was pick on all the time because of them. Kids kept asking "What are those thing on your forehead?". I also had to cut my hair short because I was getting nasty bumps on my scalp, so I looked like a small boy. I was picked on that also.
I came home and told my mom about it. She simply told me to ignore them. At first, I thought she was just saying that so I could get off her back. It's easier said than done because being told by everyone you look strange hurts. But later in life, I realized she was right, even though it is hard to do.
Fast forward to when I was twelve. I was pick on by this one guy because I had hair on my legs and I "looked nasty". I was a young child, going through early puberty. Who knew I had to already start shaving like a teen in the sixth grade? I still had the short boy-cut, so that didn't help much.
Fast forward again to high school. I started developing these weird bumps that covered my upper torso, back, and neck. These bumps are still with me and the scratching left scars that look like spots clearly on my neck. Like all teens, I also had mild acne. If you look really up close to my face, you can see scars and the surface isn't smooth. Same goes for my back.
I wasn't born "ugly". Things just happen. However, you wanna know something crazy? Even through all those years in my early education, I still had friends. These friends accepted me for who I was and didn't ridicule me for how I looked. I was in different activities, went to parties, hung out with friends to different places, and many other things. In high school, I still had friends and I was doing what I wanted to do. And even to my very surprise, I found a couple of guys who were actually attracted to me. This all happened because I learned more and more how to ignore all the ignorant jerks and show everyone how I wasn't going to allow anyone change who I was.
The point is this: no matter what, people are going to find one way or another to bring you down. It's no big surprise; kids are fucking brutal. If you don't have acne, they'll make fun of your hair. If you have nice shoes, they'll make fun of your clothes. If you like rock, they'll make fun of you for not listening to pop. It's hard, I know, but you have to grow a spine and say "enough is enough".
In high school, it's the worst because kids from 15-18 should know the difference between right and wrong. But they still chose to bully and hurt people. And the only reason why they do that is because they have nothing else better to do in their pathetic lives. They're insecure about themselves, so they look for people to pick on so they can feel better about themselves. They outcast others because they are afraid how they would look in the eyes of their peers. It's the fucked up hierarchy system of high school.
And now, because they are doing these terrible things to you, you have this awful way of seeing something you're not. You see only the minor, physical flaws so strongly that you don't see the positive things about yourself. So much so, that I agree with Ineligible, you might have developed a disorder.
What you need to do is find some help in dealing with this. Once that's established, you need to learn to accept yourself so other people will accept you. Hold your head up high and be yourself. In time, you'll find the happiness you're looking for.
_________________________
No matter how gifted, you alone can not change the world. - L
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#313511 - 04/07/08 07:36 PM
Re: you know
[Re: Someone young]
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CR125
longstanding member
Registered: 02/11/03
Posts: 5138
Loc: In Charlie Brown's Great Pumpk...
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I hope this might help you see what is trying to be told to you. .if it don’t maybe it will some one else. But I hope it does.
I’m going to use star’s approach…
You see how you pint out that people are hot and popular goes to all the parties and shit.. it’s not true for all. Some of those “pretty’ people are shy and like to stay at home (or their not shy but they still would rather be at home or with a few close friends) I think the paring and poplar thing has more to do with your exvert or invertness. Exvert (I dk how to spell it is some one that needs people and attentions to feed off of.. more to it but that’s the short of it. While a introvert is more of a alone person…don’t need a lot of people around them. You sound like a extrovert and that’s why your depressed. That’s my guess anyway.
Now on the looks…. I don’t know what you look like so I dk if your over ugling yourself on how bad you think you look. But I do know that what we see as ourselves is NEVER the same as what others see in us.
You can be the hottest guy in the room and fill like the ugliest. You could be the ugliest and fill like the hottest.
Her’s some shit on me now.. You Don’t have to read it if you don’t. I’m just going to point out the other end.. To them (them would be people around) I’m guessing I would be plugged as a prep / or a partier.. A girl chaser. But am I? NO! I have only asked two girls out in my entire (19 years) of life. The ONLY reason I did ask them is my older brother pushed me into it. I am very shy. I was a lot shyer when I was younger than now tho. I think college has opened me up a bet…especially with talking to other people my age. See I never had problems with kids or older people like my parents age.. But any open near my age.. Teen or young adult I am extremely shy around. I dk why ..I just am. My shyness made me quite tyqaundo. Soccer helped me get friends. But I stopped that in 7th grade. From as far as I can remember in school girls have always like d me but boys had little to do with me. (until I played soccer) it’s still a lot like that. Hell if I know why I can’t make any male friends.. ???
This is going to sound vain but…….I have never been told I am ugly. I’ve been called cute , hot and a pretty boy. No! I do not like it! I am not any of those things!!!! Ok.. Well they can call me anything but pretty boy. Pretty is for girls. lol (you should laugh cuz it was meant to be funny) seriously tho.. I dk what guys have against me? I don’t think they have anything against me.. I think it’s just they have no need to walk up and say hi to me and I;m sure as hell not going to do that to them. So it’s partly my fault all I hang out with is girls… and to be honest most of theses girls aren’t really friends.. They just want to be around the good looking guy (I think).
But here is the thing.. the grabber.. I’m not that hot. I’m not mr it. I see myself as pretty normal looking and nothing special.. There are a million of me walking around. I don’t get why girls cling to me.. I really don’t. I have a long pointy chin, my eyes are so light my pupils look deformed (but still people love my eyes) and I have a lazy eye. Oh and my big nose and oversized lips. and little ears (tho I hide those little ears behind a head full of hair lol… I have a egg head shape. I’m not going to even start on all of the scars on my body. i was the little guy for so long. smallist in all my classes and tiny in 9th grade. not even 5 foot and maybe 100 pound wet! that's how small i was. even i still look at myself in the mirrior and think shit.. i can;t belive i'm 6'1" now (yes i grew over the holidays..i never thoguth i'd say this but i hope i don't grow anymore) and have mucscles. well i had no controle over my hight.. i have the controle over the amount of muscle i have but if i didn;t work hard in the gym i'd wither down to a beem pole size again. I can sit here and nit pick on other things I see wrong with me but will others see them? I bet not. even when i was tiny and little it didn't seem to bother the girl it just botherd me. It all goes back to what I said in the beginning.. what we see as ourselves is NEVER the same as what others see in us.
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#313516 - 04/07/08 08:34 PM
Re: you know
[Re: Someone young]
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LTTA
Registered: 02/29/08
Posts: 258
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I'm glad CR posted here, he's a great example I'm going to use now.
Someone_Young, if you ever see a pic of CR, then it'll be obvious why girls like him. He doesn't see it himself (because like he said, what we see is not what other people see), but it's obvious he would be considered a hot guy.
But here's the thing - just because he's hot and girls like to hang around him, IT STILL DOESN'T MEAN HE'S HAPPY. Like he said, he doesn't even consider the girls that hang out with him real friends, because they just want to be around the hot looking guy.
Does that sound like fun to you? I don't think so.
Point is, no matter what you look like, you have every chance of getting friends and partners in life. It may be easier for CR because he's a chick-magnet, but what if he never has a chance to find the right girl for him because all these girls always want to date him? There's two sides to every situation.
Now, before you say "Chicks like hanging around with him, I would love that", just remember that CR himself says that he wish they wouldn't do that. He doesn't want to hang around with all the chicks or be a chick-magnet. To him, looking good is a curse. And anyone who thinks he's better than someone else because chicks love hanging out with him is a very shallow person on the inside.
Anyway, as other people here have said, unless you get up and do something, you probably won't ever find that special friend or girlfriend. Things don't just fall in your lap. Stop thinking you're the ugliest piece of shit, stop thinking you were born messed up and that's why you can't be social. The only reason you can't be social is because you're not letting yourself be social because of "mistakes" you think you have.
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#313574 - 04/08/08 12:25 PM
Re: you know
[Re: LTTA]
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Grvtykllr
Magnificent Mountaineering Member
Registered: 10/18/05
Posts: 6294
Loc: Any Vertical plane I can find
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fuck an a!
I was about to write a post nearly identical to yours, after reading CR's post, but found yours to sum up what I thought rather nicely.
Not alot to add, just to nod in agreement with what ya wrote.
_________________________
Let's agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be.
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#314308 - 04/15/08 09:39 PM
Re: you know
[Re: Grvtykllr]
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Someone young
member
Registered: 05/20/05
Posts: 496
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I seriously bet that a shy hot person would be alot happier with life than a ugly extroverted person who can never acheive what they want to do.
Shy hot person - constant compliments, if they do happen to fall for someone, they get with them easily, and if they dont wanna be around anyone or whatever, they can have their privacy, and it all works out.
Ugly extrovert - (me) flirts constantly, talks to people constantly, gets put down by EVERY GIRL AND GUY imaginable just for being not shy, and people actually TELL me that "im not cool" and i should just "shut up and not talk as much because even though all the hot kids talk 24/7 and act annoying, ide be much better off not saying anything"
Even the GUYS in school accept the better looking guys before the ugly ones as freinds.
And it really doesnt matter to me who's happy and who's not, all i know is im probably unhappier with my situation more than anyone in my school is upset with their own unique one.
And all of yall keep saying "just because someone's hot doesn't mean they go to parties all the time" well duh shurlock.
But i've yet to hear someone say "just because someone's ugly doesnt mean they DONT go to parties"
I just wonder why????
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#314310 - 04/15/08 09:48 PM
Re: you know
[Re: Someone young]
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Someone young
member
Registered: 05/20/05
Posts: 496
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And all the older generations saying im probably good looking:
Older people in general dont care about looks as much because society like 40 years ago didn't put as much emphasis on looks because society wasn't based on sex as much as it is now.
And also for older people, the standards seem to be different.
Whereas i think a guy that looks more like that guy on Borne Identity would be hot 30/40 years ago.
Someone who resembles more of a Johnny Depp look is hot now.
The thick, buff, husky look is really ugly now, especially to the girls that im intrested in. (girls who are into the whole rock/metal/hardcore scene are the types im intrested in, and most of them only want the sleek slender cool rockstar type)
And i guess ide have to say im pretty close to thick husky sorta look, even though im really skinny, just because i have a really wide face/nose.
And im just not into preppy girls at all.
Pretty much every person around my age has said im ugly, either online on forums like these, or at school.
I mean i know older adults can judge too, but i just feel like people my own age know exactly what sort of things are hot and not a little more.
Like my generation doesn't care about acne much at all. I've had MANY girls tell me that acne doesnt matter as long as they guy's face shape and features ar hot. And its pretty much true, because plenty of pizza face guys i know get extremely hot girls cuz they're faces are naturally hotter acne or not, and my face is relatively clear, and i dont get any girls.
I mean heck, i know if i had to choose between a brittney spears with a lil acne, or a 100000 whale woman, ide choose the first :P
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#314312 - 04/15/08 09:57 PM
Re: you know
[Re: Someone young]
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Someone young
member
Registered: 05/20/05
Posts: 496
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Oh and for the job thing, its literally impossible for that to work because:
1. I can't drive.
2. my parents wont let me drive
3. my parents wouldnt drive me there
4. i live bout 20 mins from town so theres no bus
5. no freinds, especially none of drive or would drive me
6. even if i had all that, im so embarassed to go out in public much because of my looks that i barely handle school and i couldnt handle a job at all.
7. if i got a job that was something where i didn t have to look at many people, ide hate it because i WANT to interact with people, but im so embarrased too because people always judge me and look at me funny, and whisper things, and call me names. I know thats true cuz i hear people all the time like at mcdonalds and stuff laugh at the ugly workers. My parents do it, my few friends do it, and even random people in line do it. I couldn't handle thinking people would do that to me to and ide like kill myself if it did.
8. so im fucked.
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#314333 - 04/15/08 11:22 PM
Re: you know
[Re: Someone young]
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LTTA
Registered: 02/29/08
Posts: 258
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I truly hope you get over this "Hot people are Gods, ugly people are nothings" attitude someday. It's really not healthy, and it's no wonder you can't accomplish anything with that attitude.
Good luck.
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#314336 - 04/15/08 11:51 PM
Re: you know
[Re: LTTA]
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Virtual_Star
A2A Shining Star
Registered: 01/28/07
Posts: 2533
Loc: ☆ El Lay, CA
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Indeed.
Best of luck to you, Someone_young.
_________________________
No matter how gifted, you alone can not change the world. - L
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#314353 - 04/16/08 04:07 AM
Re: you know
[Re: Someone young]
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RainNightBlue
member
Registered: 05/07/05
Posts: 485
Loc: NP, NE
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Older people in general dont care about looks as much because society like 40 years ago didn't put as much emphasis on looks because society wasn't based on sex as much as it is now.
You kidding me?
If there's one thing society has never changed over thousands of years, it's that sex is the #1 motivator.
Egypt: Families intermarried ~13 to keep bloodlines together.
Rome: Emperors and rich people buy slaves just for sex. Commoners marry at age ~15
Middle Ages: Henry VIII has women murdered to continue his blood line.
American Revolution: Women sold themselves to British soldiers for intelligence, Syphilis #1 Casualty.
American Civil War: entire city blocks of major cities become "red light districts". Syphilis returns. General Hooker allows camp followers to 'help' the men with Morale. Soldiers carried pornography into every campsite. Burnt them before battle to keep their families from finding out.
1920s: Sex industry skyrockets as people have more money than they know what to do with.
Post WWII: hundreds of women murdered for sharing a bed with Nazi occupiers. Baby Boom era. US doubles in population.
1970s: (your time frame of 30-40 years ago) The Sex Era. If there was ever a time to find easy people, now was it. Anything Taboo is within limits. If anything, sex was WAY more rampant then than now.
1990s: (our time) Teen Pregnancy down for the first time in decades.
Today: Internet allows for widespread distribution of pornographic material of every form. If anything, this has proven that looks aren't everything, because "mature" and "granny" porn, as well as "amature" and "shemale" plus numerous other genres are more than thriving in today's market.
_________________________
A woman's faults are many,
but men have only two.
Everything we say,
and Everything we do.
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#314357 - 04/16/08 06:48 AM
Re: you know
[Re: RainNightBlue]
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Ineligible
Administrator
Registered: 08/09/01
Posts: 13492
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Just picking up on that last point, 'amateur' porn seems to be doing especially well - I suspect precisely because it's real people, not impossibly-perfect people.
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#314396 - 04/17/08 12:23 AM
Re: you know
[Re: Ineligible]
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Someone young
member
Registered: 05/20/05
Posts: 496
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I bet no one in ametuer porn is ASS UGLY!
Bet they look normally hot, which is all i want to be.
I'm not looking to be pefect, i just wanna be decent enough to beleive in myself and be decent enough to have normal girls attracted to me in the process.
And i didnt mean the world has sex more now, i meant that like "relationships are more based on sex now, where as used to, love and personality counted alot more than it does now"
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#314398 - 04/17/08 12:28 AM
Re: you know
[Re: | | | |
