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#301186 - 12/18/07 10:43 PM
I just want to Rant and have somebody listen.
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Decius08
Registered: 10/21/07
Posts: 72
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well. I've been really pissed off. and this whole rant might not make sense but im not editing it or going back and changing anything I'm just getting it out of my system.
Well, one of the main things on my mind is my low self-confidence/esteem. I don't know why i just feel inferior to everyone in everything. I'm a senior in high school and my gpa is like 2.2 my SAT's were 1160 (which is normal i guess). But I'm doing terrible at english because I think whatever i write is going to be stupid. I need english to graduate but i don't even know if i can pass it trying. I am trying i just can't do it. It's even worse because my girlfriend has like a 3.6 GPA but she hasn't taken SAT's. She's never been in a college prep class while i've only not been in college prep twice. (college prep is lowest level for non-sped). She has such an easy time writing too. She does everything and she does it her best while I'm afraid and i get bad grades and such. It just makes me feel a whole lot dumber than her. she always tells me how I'm smarter than her though. She also hangs out with her ex boyfriend who she says she never even truly liked but he's still like madly in love with her or some shit with emo away messages. He's just her friend but I don't feel comfortable with her going to his house at all. especially if she's in his room with him and she's like sleeping on his bed. the only person she should lie in bed with is me. I hope she doesn't. There's also my mom. ughhhhhhhh. My mom is like seriously trying her hardest to make sure me and my girlfriend never do anything sexual(which is stupid I'm 17 if i want sex i'll have it. I know what a condom is im not dumb she treats it like The world will absolutely end if i have sex like she definitely will get pregnant no matter what gahh). She tells me im stupid from time to time. tells me the best ill be doing next year is community college. she thinks that when i miss the bus in the morning that it's a giant sign of immaturity and irresponsibility. Although I have my license and we have two cars(ones not registered). i offered to pay for her to register that car too. Driving to school would make it a lot easier
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#301188 - 12/18/07 10:52 PM
Re: I just want to Rant and have somebody listen.
[Re: Decius08]
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StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
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So your main problem seems to be that you're always comparing yourself to your girlfriend, and because she seems to be doing better it makes you feel stupid?
There's one thing I have to say about that: Every person is different. Everyone has different strength and weaknesses. She may be naturally good at writing essays or whatever, but you may have to work on it a little more.
SATs and College Prep class really have nothing to do with your grades or anything. You just worry about yourself and don't worry about what kind of grades other peopel are making (even if it is your girlfriend).
> She also hangs out with her ex boyfriend
I can see why that bothers you, that's natural. Do you trust her? Have you told her it bothers you?
> My mom is like seriously trying her hardest to make sure me and my girlfriend never do anything sexual
Sounds like she just doesn't want her son to be a teenage parent. It also sounds liek your mother is someone who blows things out of proportion (saying missing the bus is a sign of immaturity and all that). I doubt there's anything you can do about that except wait until you're 18 and move out if it bothers you that much. Otherwise let her know that you appreciate her concern, but she's overdoing it a little bit.
Why won't she let you drive to school?
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#301190 - 12/18/07 11:30 PM
Re: I just want to Rant and have somebody listen.
[Re: StillSearching]
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Decius08
Registered: 10/21/07
Posts: 72
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she won't let me drive to school because; I'm immature and responsible!
And I don't even know what my strengths are. I'm decent at math i guess.
Edit* I absolutely hate my family. They don't respect me at all but I do stuff for them to be nice. I've begun to give up on the golden rule and just treat them like shit cause I'm not being walked over anymore. I've blatantly disobeyed my mom, I knew it I didn't feel guilty. I've called her names. and i don't give a shit. I truly hate her. like seriously. i want money for college and place to live then i never wanna see her again.
Edited by Decius08 (12/18/07 11:44 PM)
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#301193 - 12/19/07 12:01 AM
Re: I just want to Rant and have somebody listen.
[Re: Decius08]
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StillSearching
Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 1074
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> I absolutely hate my family
I know exactly how you feel.
You know what I did about it? Waited until I was 18, then moved out ASAP. My birthday was on a thursday and I was gone by Sunday.
Of course that's a big step to take, but I really hated being home, so I did whatever I had to to get out of there...
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#301199 - 12/19/07 01:10 AM
Re: I just want to Rant and have somebody listen.
[Re: Decius08]
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Ineligible
Administrator
Registered: 08/09/01
Posts: 13287
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I'm doing terrible at english because I think whatever i write is going to be stupid.
As you know, this comes from the lack of self-confidence.
this whole rant might not make sense but im not editing it or going back and changing anything I'm just getting it out of my system
That's an alternative attitude, and it the one you want to encourage in yourself. When you write for teachers, you're just writing something to teachers. If it's stupid, it doesn't matter. Get it out. Write it down. Say what you have to say.
You are right to be concerned about your girlfriend and her ex-boyfriend. Unless you both have open relationships, she should not be in his room sleeping on his bed. Lay down a rule: she is not to be alone with him in his room. If she baulks at that, then you're not in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship at all but a threesome.
It's difficult to have self-esteem when your mother puts you down like that, but try. Remember that you are allowed to make mistakes, because this how we learn.
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