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#313025 - 04/02/08 01:26 PM
am I stupid or what?
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unsupervised
Uber Sexy Canadian Member
Registered: 11/28/04
Posts: 7458
Loc: Raccoon City
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So, as many of you "old timers" know, I've been separated for about 2 1/2 years now. Hell, we all worked through it together 
Now there are varying views on getting over a relationship. Some say it takes half as long as the length of the relationship, etc, whatever. I have no idea but i think that the fact that it disolution of the relationship was not my choice may mean that I'm forced to deal with it a little longer. And my wife was the love of my life.
I've dated, had a few relationships. I've been far from selabit. I've also pretty much just kept my self distracted from worrying what she might be up to. That is until now.
She sent me a note asking if I could take my son for an extra day this weekend as she will be out of town. I nievely hoped she might be reconnecting with some of her astranged family. But no. My lad said "yeah, she's going to see someone... ummm can't remember... strats with a 'J'... in America"
yep, that's him... the teenager, the internet love affair that was the final nail in our coffin.
I have no idea if ether of them has travelled for a meeting yet but now, it's been brought to my attention. He'll be 19 or 20 now, my ex is 39. It aint illegal but it's still a little creepy.
besides, now that I know, I have to keep busy as hell this weekend just to avoid sitting and dwelling... "Hmmm, I know what she is doing right now" etc.
maybe I should be happy because she has maintained a single relationship in the same time I've ploughed through a dozen or so. But I'm not
I feel anxious and upset and like I should do something about it. But there's nothing to do and certainly nothing to achieve.
So, am I stupid? It sure feels that way.
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mmmmmm, send more brains
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#313038 - 04/02/08 01:42 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: unsupervised]
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Grvtykllr
Magnificent Mountaineering Member
Registered: 10/18/05
Posts: 6286
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That my evil Canadian counterpart, was the answer to the question, am I stupid or what?
I dont think your stupid, just a bit fucked up.
I got nothing to say to you on this subject, atleast nothing springs to mind to help, so I simply said what? atleast I wasnt calling ya stupid, but I just had nothing positive to say that could help. I may later, I dunno, depends on what creeps into my mind that is more than just take the kid, and boot her in the pooter!
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#313040 - 04/02/08 01:46 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: unsupervised]
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sdp
Administrator
Registered: 12/29/00
Posts: 12170
Loc: San Diego, California
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I don't think it's stupid at all. It's completely understandable especially since you were not the one who screwed up the marriage. There is sure to be a lot of resentment for a long time to come. I have no other suggestions except to say that your emotions are not unusual.
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#313043 - 04/02/08 02:13 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: Grvtykllr]
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unsupervised
Uber Sexy Canadian Member
Registered: 11/28/04
Posts: 7458
Loc: Raccoon City
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to both you and sdp, I too expect there is no great advice to be given. Like so often in life, it's just another stretch of rough road to be navigated. I can say though, that in the time since I found out about the trip, I have relaxed a bit from my initial reaction so that must be a good sign.
Time heals all but I'm damn impatient!
my evil Canadian counterpart
hmm, I like that
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#313044 - 04/02/08 02:23 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: unsupervised]
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Grvtykllr
Magnificent Mountaineering Member
Registered: 10/18/05
Posts: 6286
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eh I figure you an I are a lot alike, the music, the age, the bikes, close thoughts on a lot of shit, and someplace in canada there has to be an misguided fuck up with a evil vain in them, I just assume its you, making you my counterpart in another country.
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#313045 - 04/02/08 02:28 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: Grvtykllr]
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unsupervised
Uber Sexy Canadian Member
Registered: 11/28/04
Posts: 7458
Loc: Raccoon City
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well sir I am honoured and I will do my best to do my duty to keep the faith!
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#313046 - 04/02/08 02:31 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: unsupervised]
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Grvtykllr
Magnificent Mountaineering Member
Registered: 10/18/05
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I think that makes you the brother of hte pope of the odd church of unsupervised!
Im not sure what else that makes you since your also the founder and namesake?
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#313067 - 04/02/08 04:24 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: unsupervised]
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Jase
Registered: 03/06/08
Posts: 45
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The real question is how your son is taking it. How old is he and what is the extent of his understanding of what's going on and how is he reacting to it? How is it going to affect him in the long term if he determines his mom ran away with a lad close to his age?
I feel that you should direct your energy/emotions/rage toward reassuring your son, creating a stronger bond between you two, and filling that void in his heart. Or, he may be marred for life, God Forbid! As far as I am concerned, she's history to you, but if you truly loved her, hey, your son is that only part of her that is your future with her.
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#313076 - 04/02/08 05:02 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: unsupervised]
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Java_Addict
Longstanding Member
Registered: 03/02/05
Posts: 4822
Loc: My heart's in Israel
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*huggles Mr. U*
I wouldn't say she's maintained a single relationship, so much as a single fantasy. ANYWAY!
You are not stupid, you are the awesome much loved Mr. U, and I'm not going to go into the classic spiel about how you shouldn't feel upset, or anxious because you're great, and people evolve out of relationships at different rates as others, but when it comes right down to it darlin', if you're feeling bad about it, change it up. see if you can get some time off work this summer and go cross country with your Mini mr. U, or just mix up what you've been doing. A lot of the time, just doing something a little different is a load off of stress.
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Pinatas promote violence against flamboyant animals.
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#313077 - 04/02/08 05:31 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: Jase]
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unsupervised
Uber Sexy Canadian Member
Registered: 11/28/04
Posts: 7458
Loc: Raccoon City
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good points Jase
I've kept a close eye on my son right from the start (he's now 10). He's has done a faily good job of taking things in stride and he an i are very close. He's always eager to see me and reluctant to go back to her.
As far as understanding this particular situation, I think he just assumes this other kid is a friend, nothing more. Personally, I've kept him pretty well removed from my dating life. He's only met a couple of the women who have passed through my life. Also, it's nothing new to him to see dad hugging someone, I hug everyone. (and it totally grosses him out lol)
He is my world and my saving grace.
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mmmmmm, send more brains
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#313078 - 04/02/08 05:39 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: Java_Addict]
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unsupervised
Uber Sexy Canadian Member
Registered: 11/28/04
Posts: 7458
Loc: Raccoon City
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*huggles Mr. U*
see if you can get some time off work this summer and go cross country with your Mini mr. U, or just mix up what you've been doing. A lot of the time, just doing something a little different is a load off of stress.
thanks hon
the work sistuation is another stresser at the moment... as in there isn't any.
but yes, I do take spawn of unsupervised for a few weeks every year. If I can get my shit together and back in the right finacial position, The lad and I will be doing a bit of mototrcycle riding this summer 
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#313080 - 04/02/08 05:44 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: unsupervised]
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Grvtykllr
Magnificent Mountaineering Member
Registered: 10/18/05
Posts: 6286
Loc: Any Vertical plane I can find
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LMMFAO!
When she said mini mr u, I was thinking a cross country, maybe 2 country's, sexcapade of sluts, skanks, whores and trash! maybe end it with a trip to ohio!
I wasnt thinking about at rip with your son, I was thinking a a trip for you and your dick.
I apologize to your son, my dick didnt consider him as mini mr U, I only thought solo trip of decadence and depravity!
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#313081 - 04/02/08 05:49 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: Grvtykllr]
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Java_Addict
Longstanding Member
Registered: 03/02/05
Posts: 4822
Loc: My heart's in Israel
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*snickers* you know, after i posted that i thought about changing it just because i knew that'd be what you thought i meant.
Poor Spawn of Mr. U.
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#313082 - 04/02/08 05:53 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: unsupervised]
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Jase
Registered: 03/06/08
Posts: 45
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He is my world and my saving grace.
i pray that one day i'll be able to say the same.
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#313084 - 04/02/08 05:58 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: Grvtykllr]
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unsupervised
Uber Sexy Canadian Member
Registered: 11/28/04
Posts: 7458
Loc: Raccoon City
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lol
yes, those would deffinatly be to very separate road trips, both with their own merrits...
one, wholsome and heart warming, the other dirty and sweaty
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#313085 - 04/02/08 06:00 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: Java_Addict]
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Grvtykllr
Magnificent Mountaineering Member
Registered: 10/18/05
Posts: 6286
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hey, either one of them sounds like one hell of an idea!
Every summer I take my middle kid backpacking for 4 ays for the same reasons, Id take the oldest as well, but he doesnt want to go, hes a bit lazier and his diabetes fucks up being 40 miles from a road and no phone service. he cant put on a 70 pbs pack either and walk forced for 14 hours daily either.
ONe day I hope he changes his mind and comes along, this year iM taking my step son with us as well
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#313087 - 04/02/08 06:07 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: unsupervised]
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Java_Addict
Longstanding Member
Registered: 03/02/05
Posts: 4822
Loc: My heart's in Israel
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Perhaps you could use both as well :P
@Grav: One of these days, you have to make your way to the frozen waste land, it's gorgeous and you'll be in Mountain Heaven.
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#313088 - 04/02/08 06:09 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: unsupervised]
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Rad
aka Radeckl
longstanding member
Registered: 04/19/06
Posts: 3213
Loc: USA
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..... I hug everyone.....
In that case: {{{{{BIG HUGS}}}}}
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--RäÐ
It could be that the purpose of my life is only to serve as a warning to others.
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#313090 - 04/02/08 06:35 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: Java_Addict]
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Grvtykllr
Magnificent Mountaineering Member
Registered: 10/18/05
Posts: 6286
Loc: Any Vertical plane I can find
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all my shit has to line up, money, health, permits for the big mountain, gear problems, the time...Its all got to work together to get me there, but its on my list, has been for years! I just hope to get the chance for a summit bid at Denali while im young enough and in good enough shape to make a try for it, Id like to hit hunter while Im there, but its the big fucker that haunts me.
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#313092 - 04/02/08 06:40 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: Grvtykllr]
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Java_Addict
Longstanding Member
Registered: 03/02/05
Posts: 4822
Loc: My heart's in Israel
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Go in april or may, and permits aren't too hard, its the money and the gear that'll get you.
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#313093 - 04/02/08 06:46 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: Java_Addict]
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Grvtykllr
Magnificent Mountaineering Member
Registered: 10/18/05
Posts: 6286
Loc: Any Vertical plane I can find
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3 times Iv been too late to get a permit, limited number per season, plus my brother will be going with me gotta line his schedule out with mine to do it. The gear I own, course Im always replacing it, newer better, or worn out and just need new. axes, tools, anti ball plates, coats, tents,front points, crampons, ice screws, screamers, daisy chains, shit wears out, gets unsafe, dull, breaks,Gotta have 2 sets of everything, cant risk getting there and finding out one set is bad and Im just fucked with out even stepping on the mountain.
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#313155 - 04/03/08 10:43 AM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: Grvtykllr]
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DxLISHxISx_43
Delicious Member
Registered: 09/29/04
Posts: 2520
Loc: Cleveland
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front points, crampons, ice screws, screamers, daisy chains
Is it just me, or do those sound like kinky sex toys? 
I think a sexcapade would do Mr. U alot of good. There is still that punk rock porn video that needs to be made....
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~I tried to be good, but then I got bored~
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#313159 - 04/03/08 11:16 AM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: DxLISHxISx_43]
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OldFolks
Tall and sexy member
Registered: 10/04/05
Posts: 2434
Loc: Just Beyond the Reach of Light
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That's true Lish and I think the video should include front points, crampons, ice screws, screamers and daisy chains, among other things. I'll leave it to you to decide how to use them on Mr. U. Of course Chance can help direct you.
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There is no punishment. There is no reward. There are only consequences.
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#313171 - 04/03/08 04:54 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: OldFolks]
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unsupervised
Uber Sexy Canadian Member
Registered: 11/28/04
Posts: 7458
Loc: Raccoon City
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I have several similar tools under the bed but they're not for mountain climbing, they're for mountin' though
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#313242 - 04/04/08 11:02 AM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: DxLISHxISx_43]
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Grvtykllr
Magnificent Mountaineering Member
Registered: 10/18/05
Posts: 6286
Loc: Any Vertical plane I can find
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fronty points are crampons ( spiked shit you strap to your boots) that allow you to climb verticle ice instead of just not falling every 3 seconds on horizontal ice, ice screws are what you use to clip a rope to verticle ice when your climbing it, ice tools are for climbing verticle ice, like a tiny specially shaped ice pick with a hammer on the back of it, ice axes are for fall arrest on slopes and balance and a walking stick on slopes and flats.
screamers are the shock absorber that goes between the beaner you clip on the ice screw and the dog bone you clip the rope into so if you fall it takes some pressure off instead of just busting out the ice screw and letting you fall to your death. once one person climbs this team mates follow safer and faster by jumarring a rope he placed as fixed and with the jumars (special clamps that grab the rope and give you a handle that slide up it but not down it) the daisy chains are attached to this handle so that you have a fabric ladder for your feet so you can change position, pull up over any bulge by changing foot position, etc.
Now some beaners, preferably locking, soem rope, a sit harness, and even daisy chains have been used for some kinky sex in the past and at home, not just on the side of a cliff or frozen water fall.
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#313249 - 04/04/08 11:32 AM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: OldFolks]
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Rad
aka Radeckl
longstanding member
Registered: 04/19/06
Posts: 3213
Loc: USA
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Well, have you?
I call 'em slings, btw.
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--RäÐ
It could be that the purpose of my life is only to serve as a warning to others.
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#313251 - 04/04/08 11:37 AM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: Rad]
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OldFolks
Tall and sexy member
Registered: 10/04/05
Posts: 2434
Loc: Just Beyond the Reach of Light
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All right... I have seen slings of all derivation and construction . I'm sure not all types but enough. Never been in one, never fucked anybody in one... I don't think.
I've also been in a house that was for sale that obviously had one. It was gone but the hooks coming out of the ceiling were still there and there was a big jizz trail stain on the carpet just below where it had been.
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There is no punishment. There is no reward. There are only consequences.
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#313267 - 04/04/08 02:14 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: Grvtykllr]
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unsupervised
Uber Sexy Canadian Member
Registered: 11/28/04
Posts: 7458
Loc: Raccoon City
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I have a friend with a swing. She lives in an apartment building. She's always after me and my technical expertese to mount the thing to her bedroom ceiling. I keep asking her "how long do you thing I'd be hammer drilling into the core slab before there was an eviction notice on your door?!"
But still, the offer of the reward is tempting.
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#313269 - 04/04/08 02:39 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: unsupervised]
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Rad
aka Radeckl
longstanding member
Registered: 04/19/06
Posts: 3213
Loc: USA
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You better do it before she recruits the super to do it!
Then who'd get the reward?
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--RäÐ
It could be that the purpose of my life is only to serve as a warning to others.
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#313272 - 04/04/08 05:07 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: unsupervised]
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Grvtykllr
Magnificent Mountaineering Member
Registered: 10/18/05
Posts: 6286
Loc: Any Vertical plane I can find
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all you have to do is not givea fuck!
Look ya gotta get this in the right frame of mind, Im dealing wiht the same shit with a buddy who dumped this twat, and she then made sure he saw her iwth a new guy, Now hes all pissy adn he shoudlnt be, hes done with her, its over, think about thet shit she did, she doesnt desrve you, she deserves to be staked inan ant pile with fucking honey poured in her twat.
Why do ya givea fuck who she is with? shes a cunt who shit on you and your son, you now have 72 hours to see spawn of unsupervised, take advantage of that, if your gonna think about her then concentrate that effort into hoping for a bus wreck, or a fiery death in the apartment of her lover that burns them both toa crisp like frys left in teh deep cooker for 12 days.
Fuck her, the important part is ya got the kid for the weekend, and an extra day, an extra 24 hours with your son, that you normally dont get to see that often, treasure that, fuck her the useless cunt.
she fucked it up, not you.
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#313273 - 04/04/08 05:11 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: unsupervised]
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Grvtykllr
Magnificent Mountaineering Member
Registered: 10/18/05
Posts: 6286
Loc: Any Vertical plane I can find
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somethign jsut occured to me, I think I emailed it to ya, if you were not on that list, then goto myspace, view the bulletin I posted, theres only one :P I dont post them often, its the right attitude and your new theme song! or have lish email it to ya, I know I sent it to her! The version on myspace is longer though, just a before and after, no additional music.
in fact, fuck it!
click me pecker wood!
no reason every shouldnt be able to see it, unless of course a mod comes and wipes out my link! then I guess uhh I was wrong and not everyone should of been able to see it.
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#313276 - 04/04/08 05:27 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: unsupervised]
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Grvtykllr
Magnificent Mountaineering Member
Registered: 10/18/05
Posts: 6286
Loc: Any Vertical plane I can find
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eh, I know you know it all already, but sometimes it pays to be reminded of it.
I cant stop the video ya know, I been singing it for days now, 2 or 3, I forget when my mohter sent it to me, but I been singing it since then. I start laughing for no reason all of a sudden for mr stinky popping in to my head saying either I got a fucking syringe stuck in my head! or I beat my dick like it owes me money! its a curse, I cant get it out of my fucking head, it echo's in there! sorta like the samual adams beer commercial a while back. its no wonder, they both originated from Chappelle. the bastard!
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#313277 - 04/04/08 05:52 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: Grvtykllr]
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unsupervised
Uber Sexy Canadian Member
Registered: 11/28/04
Posts: 7458
Loc: Raccoon City
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getting a song stuck in your head is a medical condition
you're having an aneurythm
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#313278 - 04/04/08 05:59 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: unsupervised]
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Grvtykllr
Magnificent Mountaineering Member
Registered: 10/18/05
Posts: 6286
Loc: Any Vertical plane I can find
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all tha matters is Im gonna go have a samual adams! Itll get ya drunk! takes the taste of hooker spit outta your mouth! and I'll be fucking fat bitches in no time!
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#313569 - 04/08/08 10:37 AM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: unsupervised]
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Grvtykllr
Magnificent Mountaineering Member
Registered: 10/18/05
Posts: 6286
Loc: Any Vertical plane I can find
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well, you concentrate on my ex being killed and ill concentrate on yours! that way noone can accuse either of us for the their own twat! I mean uhhh ex.
and there is other trips, not to mention local accidents, step off a curb and get hit by a fucking bus!
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Let's agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be.
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#313582 - 04/08/08 01:16 PM
Re: am I stupid or what?
[Re: Grvtykllr]
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unsupervised
Uber Sexy Canadian Member
Registered: 11/28/04
Posts: 7458
Loc: Raccoon City
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why an I suddenly thinking about Strangers on a Train lol
So, in fact the weekend went fine for me. My anticipation was far worse than the event. Besides, I was lucky enough to be burried in some other fucking drama... women, ya can't live with 'em, pass the pretzels.
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mmmmmm, send more brains
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SDP is right though, it's completely normal and understandable to feel that way.
my version is much more auhmmmmm, versatile.
