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#314371 - 04/16/08 02:26 PM
Suicide
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cooldawg2
Registered: 02/22/08
Posts: 548
Loc: Boston, MA
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I really can't see my life getting better right now. Everyday I come home frustrated and angry at everyone in my school. It seems like everyone hates me especially in my math class. I'll be having a good day and then I get to that class and everyone there just ruins it, and then stomps it down even more. People pick apart my faults and I got pantsed twice. I tried to laugh it off, but the kid who did it wasn't even laughing along with it. It's completely embarrassing, not that I'm insecure with my dick or anything but just that there's girls around and it's not helping my chances with them. I also get ignored a lot by people, I'll say things to add into a conversation and I'll either get completely ignored and people will say to mind my own business. I'm just trying to make friends here. Then when I say things, like I accidentally swore at this one kid I'm friends with. This girl was like Ms. So and So did you just hear that? And then she got the whole class staring at me and flipping out on me. But they weren't really angry at me they just wanted to embarrass me for some reason. I don't even know what I did to any of these kids. I've been nothing but nice to them even after all the things they've put me through. I asked another girl for a mint and she's like no, you're not having any. What do you just want one because you're breath smells bad? I'm like nooo I just want one. So she's like too bad and gives every other guy in the class a mint. Then if I flip out on anyone they're like chill out and relax. You're so angry and tense. Yeah I'm angry and tense because of all of you. Now I can see why kids come in and shoot people at school. It just builds up over time like it's doing to me. I would never let it come down to doing that, but I just wanna kill myself because of them. I barely have any friends in this town and a lot of people wanna fight me or hate me. Half of them I don't even know and the other half I can probably take. It's like I go home since it's my last class, completely flushed, angry, and almost in tears because of it. I don't even know how to deal with it. I just wanna end it all. No one cares about me besides my mom and I barely see her except for every other weekend. I know I would hurt her extremely deeply if I killed myself, but I just can't go on like this. I don't wanna go to a guidance counselor because they just make it worse and if I switch my class everyone will laugh at me and call me a fag and all that. How is this suppose to get better when it's 15 kids I'm dealing with. It's not me it's gotta be them. I can't figure out what I did to them.
_________________________
"And baby I ain't never ran from a nigga and I damn sure aint bout to pick today to start runnin." - lil wayne
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#314380 - 04/16/08 07:12 PM
Re: Suicide
[Re: cooldawg2]
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kmrobins
member
Registered: 11/29/05
Posts: 655
Loc: ^ My true hero.
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Things WILL get better. School sucks. I hated fucking school, and you know what? More often than not it's the people who hated school that do well after school. The people who loved school will always look back and wish they were still there.
In a situation like that I'd either move to another school, try for a fresh start, or just knuckle down and focus on my studies. Fuck those kids. Seriously. Get off to a good Collage, get a good career and enjoy a real life. Another option is to join a club or get a job, make friends that way.
One day you'll realize what a small part of your life school is, and how insignificant it is. Life begins after school, trust me.
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#314384 - 04/16/08 08:18 PM
Re: Suicide
[Re: cooldawg2]
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A.W.
Rootbeer Boy
Rootbeer Member
Registered: 07/05/05
Posts: 1869
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Yeah, school sucks these days man. There's a lot of evil plaguing the U.S. public schools today. I hated high school myself because some of my classmates acted like elementary and junior high mentality at times. Even the teachers were a pain in the you know what too.
Otherwise, just hang in there bud. Be tough and ride out the bad that's happening to you. Things will get better, don't worry
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#314387 - 04/16/08 08:44 PM
Re: Suicide
[Re: cooldawg2]
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Felix 12
Registered: 04/09/07
Posts: 154
Loc: The South!
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Dude,
One million people a year kill themselves,
don't be another statistic.
Life can turn around,
there will be people who don't like you,
I'd just ignore them,
every high school has someone you can get along with,
so find those people,
stick to em,
and get through high school.
just vent to us, vent to your mom, get it out
and stay alive.
_________________________
"I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor."
- Edward Albee
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#314394 - 04/16/08 10:54 PM
Re: Suicide
[Re: cooldawg2]
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JapanFan14
longstanding member
Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 4694
Loc: US
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Oh my gosh you sound like me! Listen, not too long ago... maybe 3-5 weeks ago I almost committed suicide. 3 TIMES! One time I was going to stab myself with a knife while I was washing dishes. I stared at it for half an hour before I decided not to. The second time I wanted to overdose on drugs. The third time I was BENT on doing it and I was going to choke myself with a wire. But my little brother caught me. He didn't even know what I was doing but he saw how dark my face was and he asked me what I was doing and got scared. He made me change my mind and that night I stayed in my living room for about 2 hours crying curled up in a ball. I was at such a low point in my life I couldn't even believe it was me, that this was actually happening to me. This was about the time that I left this site. I was so incredibly depressed and so full of hatred. It seemed like all of my entire life was spiraling down hill and I thought the only solution was death.
Let me tell you something, DEATH is NOT the answer. It absolutely positively is not the answer. I can't really tell you how I got out of my horrible state without getting a couple of moans and groans and without preaching to you. But I can't even begin to tell you how much better I feel right now. I don't have happiness. No. Happiness is temporary. It's nice and sweet- sugar coated. No. I have JOY. I have a long-lasting joy that keeps my spirits high and positive. I have LOVE and I have PEACE. I honestly can't even tell you without getting all excited again. But if you want to know what I'm really talking about just PM me. You don't have to but it's just if you want to or for your own benefit. But seriously, I'm just so incredibly changed and I feel so victorious for overcoming that battle that I thought I was losing.
_________________________
I believe in Harvey Dent.***
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#314395 - 04/16/08 11:14 PM
Re: Suicide
[Re: JapanFan14]
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A.W.
Rootbeer Boy
Rootbeer Member
Registered: 07/05/05
Posts: 1869
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I'm so glad to hear that you did overcome that time. It was really a scary time not knowing what happened to you. The worse did come into my mind at times, but at the time I kept being positive in praying that you were ok.
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#314435 - 04/17/08 04:11 PM
Re: Suicide
[Re: cooldawg2]
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cooldawg2
Registered: 02/22/08
Posts: 548
Loc: Boston, MA
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i think things are going to get better. thanks for all the support you guys. i dont know where i'd be without you.
_________________________
"And baby I ain't never ran from a nigga and I damn sure aint bout to pick today to start runnin." - lil wayne
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#314446 - 04/17/08 08:33 PM
Re: Suicide
[Re: cooldawg2]
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Ineligible
Administrator
Registered: 08/09/01
Posts: 13322
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I'm very glad you're feeling better, cooldawg. Never be afraid to tell us when you're feeling bad.
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#314454 - 04/17/08 09:18 PM
Re: Suicide
[Re: cooldawg2]
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A.W.
Rootbeer Boy
Rootbeer Member
Registered: 07/05/05
Posts: 1869
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Hey cooldawg. It's good to hear that you're feeling better today. If you need any help, feel free to talk to me as well. I never like to see or hear anyone get depress. I'll help you out anyway I can too. And no problem man, you're very welcome 
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#314474 - 04/18/08 01:39 AM
Re: Suicide
[Re: cooldawg2]
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The Rzarector
Registered: 02/22/08
Posts: 7
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BAWWWWW i'm insecure and too lazy to get over my fears.
You are nothing special. no one is. we are all just a spec of dust in the infinite universe and the sooner you learn to accept this the sooner you can just shut up and try to enjoy your time on this earth
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#314475 - 04/18/08 01:42 AM
Re: Suicide
[Re: The Rzarector]
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A.W.
Rootbeer Boy
Rootbeer Member
Registered: 07/05/05
Posts: 1869
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whoa buddy! you're being arrogant there. The guy just went through a hard time and he needs support, not arrogance.
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#314524 - 04/19/08 04:47 PM
Re: Suicide
[Re: A.W.]
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TheUrbanNinjaDude
Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 40
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Well done for getting over it mate, I do not know you but that doesn't stop me from feeling proud.
Suicide shouldn't even be considered, and is definitely the wrong path to take. School is just such a small period in your life, the moment you're out of school the world is your oyster. You'll look back at school and sneer at the little shits who gave you a hard time. In school I used to have a bit of a shit time (up until the last year when things started to turn up) but at the end of the day everything's been a LOT better.
Think of it, they're the assholes so they come out of school and lifes hard for them without their little hierachy. You come out of school fit and prepared for anything, a stronger person than any of them.
Hang in there.
(Oh and as for the guy A.W just responded to, I agree with A.W)
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#314682 - 04/22/08 05:50 PM
Re: Suicide
[Re: TheUrbanNinjaDude]
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paulpierce34
member
Registered: 04/17/05
Posts: 180
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Your being too nice, bottling up your anger and exploding for no reason (to others) because you have too deal with so much shit. Develop an attitude. Don't let people walk on you anymore.
They don't respect you and will push you until you snap. Being nice hasn't worked, you tried and its not your fault. Don't take shit from anyone. People will respect you, it might take a while. Don't go looking for trouble, but when they do things to you, don't tolerate 1%.
People will come to respect you and you will make good life long friends. Things can only get better, do not think about suicide. I can tell you are intelligent from your post, just keep on trucking kid.
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