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#329623 - 09/05/08 11:37 AM
I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
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JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 268
Loc: California, USA
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I wrote my letter saying goodbye and I put a plastic bag over my head and I tried to go to sleep. Obviously I didn't go through with it. But I'm going to try again tonight.
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#329624 - 09/05/08 12:17 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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sdp
Administrator
Registered: 12/29/00
Posts: 13689
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Becasue you broke up with a girl? Please.. go seek some counseling help... A breakup is definitely not worthy of suicide.
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#329625 - 09/05/08 12:20 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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NtroducingMyself
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Registered: 07/06/05
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You have to ask yourself, is it really worth hurting your family and friends?
I can tell you now, its not worth it. My Uncle killed himself over a year ago and it was the worst thing my family has ever gone through death wise. It's extremely hard on a family to lose a loved one, and even harder when that loved one takes their own life.
You are still very young and you have amazing things to accomplish and explore, don't cut it short.
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"Don't be a Dork! Wrap your Pork!"
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#329629 - 09/05/08 12:40 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: NtroducingMyself]
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JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 268
Loc: California, USA
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Okay first of all I'm not young, I'm 27, in three years I'm going to be thirty. What have I accomplished within the past? Nothing. I don't have a job, I don't have a girlfriend (anymore) and frankly I don't see a future where I can be a functioning member of society. So what's the point?
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!!!More Than Meets The Eye!!!
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#329636 - 09/05/08 12:56 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: ]
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JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 268
Loc: California, USA
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No, it isn't, according to some "people". There's no time left and there is nothing that matters anymore. Life is a fleeting dream. And it's time to let it go.
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#329641 - 09/05/08 01:11 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: ]
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JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 268
Loc: California, USA
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How is what working for me? She thinks just because I'm 27 and don't have a job (even though I am trying to get one) that I am not helping myself. I'm done. It's over. Life's been giving me shit after shit and then when I think there is a tiny bit of hope it just gets torn away from me. I want this pain to end and the only way it can be achieved is by just ending it all.
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#329646 - 09/05/08 01:53 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: ]
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JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 268
Loc: California, USA
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That may be true, but I don't see how things can possibly get any better. I've been trying but I've only been met with failure. One man can only fail so much. And frankly if that is my lot in life and if that's all that can come from me trying, it's all I can take. So like I said there really is no point to it.
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#329647 - 09/05/08 02:14 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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NtroducingMyself
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Registered: 07/06/05
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Okay first of all I'm not young, I'm 27, in three years I'm going to be thirty.
I just turned 28 and I think I'm still young.
Like Rad said you just need to re-evaluate your life if it's not working for you. Maybe you need to go back to school? Go to a trade school and learn a trade? Maybe you need to sign up for mission work in another country or hell even your own Country) to get a better perspective on life?? Who knows, only you can answer that question.
But one thing I CAN tell you is that killing youtself is NOT the answer to your problems.
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"Don't be a Dork! Wrap your Pork!"
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#329649 - 09/05/08 02:33 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: NtroducingMyself]
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JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 268
Loc: California, USA
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I already have decided.
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#329652 - 09/05/08 02:49 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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NtroducingMyself
Moderator
Registered: 07/06/05
Posts: 7980
Loc: Canton, OH USA
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So by killing yourself it might "end" your problems, but you are willing cause more problems for those who love you? Imagine the pain you'll put them through... it's worse pain than you are going through right now, I can tell you that much!
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"Don't be a Dork! Wrap your Pork!"
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#329653 - 09/05/08 02:50 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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qojeffry
Registered: 02/07/07
Posts: 50
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"Its not about how hard you can hit, its about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving foward. If you know what your worth go out and get what your worth, but you got to be willing to take the hit."
In other words what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger, trust me when I say if you can over come this hard time in your life, it will only make you stronger, and a better person.
Death is the easy way out man, dont give up on your self. You still have many many years to go out and live your life up
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#329657 - 09/05/08 03:56 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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unsupervised
Uber Sexy Canadian Member
Registered: 11/28/04
Posts: 9314
Loc: Reality
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One man can only fail so much
that's why you need to be part of something more. One man can't carry himself when he's injured. Seek help, not death.
you claim that you've accomplished nothing. I can guarentee you'll never accomplish anything if you're dead.
I understand where you are comming from. I've come close to the brink several times. Even made an attempt when I was 18 (it was about a girl at the time)
If I'd succeeded, there would be a wonderful little boy who has my eyes that never would have been born. That would have been a shame
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and there was light
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#329659 - 09/05/08 04:15 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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bobalicious
*property of AngelWitch*
Registered: 12/25/04
Posts: 8744
Loc: Ireland
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I want this pain to end and the only way it can be achieved is by just ending it all.
That isn't the only way to end the pain. You can try to turn your life around, keep going for jobs, any and all jobs. You'll get rejected sometimes but everyone does. Stay focused on the good things in your life, I'm sure there is more to your life than just "her".
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The Word of God - Surprisingly indistinguishable from one's own personal opinion.
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#329660 - 09/05/08 04:16 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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DxLISHxISx_43
Delicious Member
Registered: 09/29/04
Posts: 2773
Loc: Cleveland
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Please click on SDP's link and talk to someone.
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~I tried to be good, but then I got bored~
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#329663 - 09/05/08 04:32 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 268
Loc: California, USA
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You guys just don't seem to get it. I take medication for schizophrenia, I'm bipolar and I have poor people skills. I've been living with this for all my life all the constant pills and the constant blood tests. And now add the fact that the love of my life, the only girl who I would ever hope to love is gone, what am I stuck with? The Same things that caused me to be unhappy to begin with. Only now it's a million times worse than before.
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!!!More Than Meets The Eye!!!
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#329664 - 09/05/08 05:17 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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qojeffry
Registered: 02/07/07
Posts: 50
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you are so young, your life isnt even close to half way over yet, you still have so much more memories and years to go, things will get better and you will smile again and find a girl who blows your mind away and sweeps you off your feet harder then the other girl did, you will get married have a family and all the pain will be gone...
however only one way to do that, and that is to live and enjoy your life...trust me suicide is not worth it.
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#329665 - 09/05/08 07:27 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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Da Hawk
Registered: 09/05/08
Posts: 91
Loc: England
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Jedi, what did you want to be when you grew up?
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#329666 - 09/05/08 07:36 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 268
Loc: California, USA
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What am I supposed to do? The pain is so unbearable, how am I supposed to stop the pain what do I have to do to stop it? I feel that I have no other way to stop it. For me the only viable way to get rid of it is to just kill myself. I know those around me will suffer pretty badly but they'll get over it. And some people will get over fast just like they got over me.
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!!!More Than Meets The Eye!!!
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#329667 - 09/05/08 07:37 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: Da Hawk]
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JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 268
Loc: California, USA
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A scientist. I wanted to go to MIT and study quantum physics. But it's pretty obvious why I'm here and not trying to win a noble peace prize.
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#329669 - 09/05/08 07:48 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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Sexpert
longstanding member
Registered: 01/16/03
Posts: 4010
Loc: sAN dIEGO, cA
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Listen, I'm mot here to try to change you or your opinions, but listen. You are a valuable person on this earth. EVERYTHING and EVERYONE has a purpose, and he or she will *most likely* never know what it is...EVER. That's tough to live with, I'm 35 and have not found mine. But we DO have to stick it out. You might get run over by a bus tomorrow, but don't take your own life! It only makes this worse for EVERYONE including your very own soul.
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Orale Chingon!
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#329672 - 09/05/08 08:00 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: Sexpert]
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JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 268
Loc: California, USA
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I am sorry to say this but I honestly don't believe that people are here for a purpose. Lots of people die every day including babies and they never had a chance to fulfill their purpose. In my opinion people come and go and the earth keeps spinning. When I'm gone nothing will change. The pain will just stop.
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!!!More Than Meets The Eye!!!
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#329673 - 09/05/08 08:01 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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Da Hawk
Registered: 09/05/08
Posts: 91
Loc: England
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Well Jedi what happened to being a scientist? I want to be a scientist too but only working in biochemistry. (physics always confused the shit out of me :P) Anyway, how was your education?
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Tony the tiger goes Rawrrr...
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#329674 - 09/05/08 08:12 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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Sexpert
longstanding member
Registered: 01/16/03
Posts: 4010
Loc: sAN dIEGO, cA
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It's OK to believe that too.... it's all good.
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#329675 - 09/05/08 08:20 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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Da Hawk
Registered: 09/05/08
Posts: 91
Loc: England
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Have you actually taken the time to try therapy out?
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#329678 - 09/05/08 08:37 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: Da Hawk]
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JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 268
Loc: California, USA
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Very poor. I had to repeat kindergarten (as if that wasn't a sign of things to come) I never studied I spent most of my time in school just reading and daydreaming. Funny thing is, in kindergarten I had a twelfth grade reading level.
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#329679 - 09/05/08 08:40 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: Da Hawk]
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JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 268
Loc: California, USA
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Well I've been in and out of hospitals for most of my teenage life. And since then I've been in therapy. I haven't talked my therapist or my group therapy sessions about what's going on because this just started a little while ago. Although they know I'm depressed they don't know what I tried to do last night. Besides if I say something they'll just send me to a mental hospital and believe me when I say that hell is a better option then going back there.
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#329682 - 09/05/08 09:34 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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AntiGoddess
Registered: 07/28/08
Posts: 1
Loc: Canada
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you should read 'it's kind of a funny story' by ned vizzini. if you like reading, this wouldn't be too bad. it's about a guy who almost kills himself and ends up in the mental ward, but it turned his life around. you never know.
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#329683 - 09/05/08 09:39 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: AntiGoddess]
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JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 268
Loc: California, USA
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Yeah you'd think I would have had had my life turn around after the sixth or rather eighth time I came out of the hospital but I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon.
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#329689 - 09/05/08 10:15 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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StephieJ
longstanding member
Registered: 01/07/03
Posts: 6285
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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You are depressed. I really wish you would seek some help.. consult a friend.. consult your doctor (I did).. Depression is a mental illness... you can get help for this.
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Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.
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#329691 - 09/05/08 10:37 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: StephieJ]
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JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 268
Loc: California, USA
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That's the thing I've had mental illnesses since I was 9. So I've practically gone through almost everything. All I'll say is that I'm scared and don't know what to do anymore. I lost the only thing that was important in my life. I don't know if I will survive this mentally intact. I'll be damaged but I'll still be alive and not in a mental hospital.
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!!!More Than Meets The Eye!!!
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#329697 - 09/06/08 01:54 AM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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StephieJ
longstanding member
Registered: 01/07/03
Posts: 6285
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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You will find someone who will make you happier and wont cause you pain. Take this as a learning experience
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Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.
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#329705 - 09/06/08 04:23 AM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: StephieJ]
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JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 268
Loc: California, USA
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What good is a learning experience if it happens every time you fail?
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#329713 - 09/06/08 10:52 AM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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StephieJ
longstanding member
Registered: 01/07/03
Posts: 6285
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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You're obviously not learning if you keep "failing".
You're supposed to take the bad with the good and move on. Things will NEVER get better if u keep sitting in the same spot. YOU need to better yourself... YOU need to be the one to want to do it. Absolutely nothing is going to change unless you start making the effort.
So how about today? How about we call today the first day of your new life?
_________________________
Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.
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#329724 - 09/06/08 03:59 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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experience
Registered: 09/04/08
Posts: 9
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Post deleted
You're an asshole regardless of what his intentions were.
Edited by sdp (09/06/08 04:39 PM)
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#329728 - 09/06/08 05:05 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: experience]
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Da Hawk
Registered: 09/05/08
Posts: 91
Loc: England
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Atleast someone deleted that douche's post...
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#329763 - 09/07/08 10:37 AM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: experience]
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JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 268
Loc: California, USA
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Why? What did he say?
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#329774 - 09/07/08 06:00 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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Da Hawk
Registered: 09/05/08
Posts: 91
Loc: England
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He said people don't know what they're talking about on this.
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#329783 - 09/07/08 07:33 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: Da Hawk]
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JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 268
Loc: California, USA
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well, um, what do you mean? I mean absolutely no offense or anything I just don't know what you mean.
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!!!More Than Meets The Eye!!!
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#329785 - 09/07/08 07:42 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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Da Hawk
Registered: 09/05/08
Posts: 91
Loc: England
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He said people don't know what they're talking about on this. Like people talking on this post aren't qualified or anything so our advice is useless. Which is bullshit to be honest.
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Tony the tiger goes Rawrrr...
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#329801 - 09/07/08 10:45 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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JapanFan14
longstanding member
Registered: 05/25/05
Posts: 5279
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You know Jedi nothing good can come from committing suicide. Everyone loses. If you say you're a failure you are going to BE a failure. If you speak that over your life it's going to happen. If you going looking for negativity and expecting failure it's going to hunt you down and attach itself to you.
So many have told me that I'd be a failure that I'll only be good for lying on my back, I'm worthless, etc etc I've heard it all. But you know what I don't allow that to effect me. You have to make a choice and you have to make a move. If you keep telling yourself you're a failure eventually you're going to believe in it and give into it. 27 is way too young. The Japanese are in the prime of their life when they're in their sixties believe it or not. The reality is that if you were to end your own life you're only being selfish. You're stealing a father from possible children, a husband to a possible wife, and a possible philanthropist to the needy. There is sooo much you could do with your life. You're one of the fortunate people. At least you have a chance to start over or consider. There are others who have no choice who are forced with no freedom. Don't waste your life when you have the possibility of saving so many others.
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"Isso é como nós latinas/meninas pretas fazemos. Vá ou flua.. ya digg?"
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#329864 - 09/09/08 01:49 AM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 268
Loc: California, USA
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Through out this ordeal I've started to smoke again, I fell off the horse. As I started again I thought it would at least make me feel calmer. But the high quickly left. Now I need something stronger. Something that can help me forget so to speak. I don't know what to do. I don't like alcohol so I can't try that.
EDIT: I should say now that although this a very bad idea seeking something more stronger, I should quit while I'm even considering it. And that speaks for cigarettes as well. At least I still have some clarity.
Edited by JEDI-ALCHEMIST (09/09/08 02:17 AM)
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#329872 - 09/09/08 05:09 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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StephieJ
longstanding member
Registered: 01/07/03
Posts: 6285
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Thats good that you can see some clarity.
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Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.
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#329927 - 09/10/08 07:12 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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JEDI-ALCHEMIST
Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 268
Loc: California, USA
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I did it. Not all of it. But I did it. I'm not going to die by my own hand. Death will have to do it when I'm old and gray and have the most beautiful grand children. I'm done. I'll still feel sad but at least I'll be living my life. No matter what happens I'll never forget her. She will always be my muse. Today is the day I do something about it. I don't know how it'll happen but I'm going to do it. I love you all. I thank you all. And I will win. Life is only what we choose to make it. Let's just take it. Let us be free. We can find the glory we all dream of and with our love we can win. As the battle goes on we feel stronger. How much longer must this go on? Each and every day we dream of winning and beginning a new life. Still, we must fight or face defeat. We must stand tall and not retreat. Our strength will find the might, there's no fight we can't fight together all together. We can win. Blessed with strong hearts that beat as one. Watch us soar and with love that conquers all, we'll win this battle this last battle. We will win. We must win. We will win. We will win.
Edited by JEDI-ALCHEMIST (09/10/08 07:24 PM)
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!!!More Than Meets The Eye!!!
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#329929 - 09/10/08 07:16 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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Ineligible
Administrator
Registered: 08/09/01
Posts: 15581
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That's the spirit!
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#329931 - 09/10/08 07:27 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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Da Hawk
Registered: 09/05/08
Posts: 91
Loc: England
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The very best of luck! Go and achieve your potential!
_________________________
Tony the tiger goes Rawrrr...
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#329987 - 09/11/08 02:54 AM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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Thoughtful
member
Registered: 09/20/06
Posts: 285
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Right on Jedi!!!!
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#330563 - 09/16/08 05:46 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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mlassesP4122
new member
Registered: 08/22/06
Posts: 81
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"Life's A Fleeting Dream Don't Let It GO............ "
That is YOUR signature!
at one point in my life i was suicidal, not the stupid stuff like "jane is mad at me" but for ACTUAL reasons. and when i thought about, i mean really thought about it i couldn't go through with it. even though i didn't want to live, i didn't want my life to be over. once you kill yourself, there's no more do-over's. your life is over, and you're the one that ended it. you said that you dont see the point and that you dont have a job or a gf.
1)you dont NEED a gf to live
2)dont get a job, do community service, volunteer just anything whether you get paid or not. helping others changed something in our minds. it gives us a different outlook. if you go to an elderly home they are always looking for people to just visit with the residents. listening to people, wayyy more experienced than all of us is amazing. you hear the honesty and wisdom in their voice. dont like old people? go to a dog rescue, there's a dog rescue online called shihtzuandfurbabyrescue.com you can apply to be a dogs sponsor. of you can get to know the 'group' of people who are regular volunteers and help them out. just find a purpose in your life because right now you feel like you dont have one. even if this purpose is something like "i need to cut out name tags for all the kids in the 3rd grade for tomorrow." it DOES make a difference, even though its small. i promise. and i've suffered from severe depression and i can promise you that the little things do matter. your life matters.
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+even though i had to go through shit,i wouldn't take any of it back+
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#330638 - 09/17/08 02:06 PM
Re: I Tried To Commit Suicide Last Night
[Re: JEDI-ALCHEMIST]
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mlassesP4122
new member
Registered: 08/22/06
Posts: 81
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read to book, "the quiet room" by lori schiller.
its a girl with schizophrenia and manic depression.
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+even though i had to go through shit,i wouldn't take any of it back+
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