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#348458 - 09/14/09 12:35 PM
Sex and Duration
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questionable
Registered: 01/31/09
Posts: 10
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Hey,
I'm not sure if there is a better place to put this thread, but if it needs to me moved, feel free to do so, thanks.
Okay onto the question, or rather me rambling on. So I have had sex a couple of times, and although it was good, I lasted maybe 3-4mins on my first time and then less the other couple times. I kind of expected this anyway since it was first time and everything. When I think back on it as well, it was usually about a week apart between having sex, and I never had the urge to masturbate between that time, so that probably didn't help a great deal, so it all just kind of built up.
Normally when I masturbate I will last 10-20mins, and sometimes it can be anywhere from 20mins-1hr+. I also have those days where I just have a build up and 3-4mins later I'm done. Which brings me to the next part.
I want to work on self control so I'm starting the whole kegel exercises and the start and stop method, which I have done in the past while masturbating. I'm also going to make sure that I don't go days without masturbating as well so I'm not in a situation where she is ready and I have been building up for the past 5 days. Is there any other advice that anyone can give to help with self control, it would really be appreciated.
Now... I'm with a different girlfriend now and I'm not sure when/if we will have sex, but she is really eager about it. Normally guys would be happy about this yeah? Well I'm not going to say that it's not a good thing, but it's not a great thing either. She is still a virgin and I don't want to be the guy that ruins sex for her. That probably sounds stupid but thats just me. I see that as a lot of pressure, and then during a conversation one night during texting she said 'I hope sex is good or I'm going to freak'. Hah, now you could imagine how much worse this made me feel. I'm probably overthinking this, which I know I shouldn't because that just makes things worse because you end up thinking about it too much, and then when you have sex your mind is concentrated on trying not to come... I don't really want her first time to be a quick 2-5min thing. She knows that I am not a virgin as well, and I would hate for her to get the idea that I am some kind of expert on sex, and then disappoint her when we finally do have sex.
Another thing, with my ex, we would usually have a fair bit of foreplay which was good and fun, but I found that it was kind of bad for me performance wise, because I would slowly build up all this sexual tension(?) during foreplay and then when we had sex it was just, wow, and then before you know it I'm done.. Is it there anything that will help so I'm not going to be done before we start. Obviously cutting back on foreplay a bit will help, but just wondering if there is anything else.
I really hope that everyone that reads it can understand it, it is a bit long so sorry about that, and I apologise if I rambled on a bit, I tend to do that alot.
Anyway, thanks to anyone that replies and can give me any advice at all.
Thankyou for providing such an informative website,
Questionable
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#348674 - 09/18/09 12:03 PM
Re: Sex and Duration
[Re: ]
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questionable
Registered: 01/31/09
Posts: 10
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Hey,
Thanks for the reply, I really appreciate it.
Yeah, I hate worrying about it so I try not to most of the time. Okay, yeah I've had a few people say that the more you do it, the more you are able to control it and hold off, so I guess, practice makes perfect 
Once again, cheers for the reply!
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#348780 - 09/20/09 07:26 PM
Re: Sex and Duration
[Re: questionable]
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Jub Jub
Registered: 09/20/09
Posts: 1
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Why should sex end after you orgasm? If you can't prolong sex before you ejaculate, then you should prolong the sex after your orgasm. The penis is probably not the best option to help continue the sex as it will be sensitive and possibly going flaccid after you cum. I suggest going down on her and gently rubbing her clit with your tongue while fingering the inside top part of the pussy. Or you could just do some fingering but don't just stop after you orgasm.
Also, if she still has her hymen(not all virgins have their hymens intact), she probably won't want to have that much penis-vaginal sex as it will hurt when you break it plus the whole bleeding issue might be messy.
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#349522 - 10/14/09 04:02 PM
Re: Sex and Duration
[Re: Jub Jub]
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gooooooogle
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Registered: 03/04/06
Posts: 104
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Duration always drives me crazy. I've actually discovered, that for myself at least, my initial erection tends to be crazy sensitive. Like if I'm hooking up with a girl and she's touching it, I sometimes have to stop her because I might blow already. But if I let it go down, and come back, the second time around, I can last a really long time. Also, I find that I'm more horny knowing that I'm pleasuring the other person, so I tend to get them off once via my fingers / mouth first, then when it's my turn (or our turn  ) I'm less hyped up.
But try to not worry about it too much. I know it's hard to not feel like a failure if you only last a few minutes, but like Jub Jub said, you can keep things going, maybe long enough for you to get past your refractory period (some people have really really short ones (unlike me  )) then you can go again (and you'll probably last longer).
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