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#354645 - 05/30/10 08:43 PM
My friends' relationship
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M and M
Registered: 12/18/07
Posts: 55
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Hey guys, I need some advice for my friends. They have been dating about 7-8 months, but seem to be really dysfunctional. Jim (the guy) always gets mad at the Katie (the girl) for no reason at all. Things like, "you were having fun when I wasn't there" or "you hung out with my friend."
(note: we're all juniors in high school)
Now, what I feel is happening is that Jim is extremely insecure about me and Katie. We almost had a thing a while back, but I don't have feelings anymore, and I don't think she does either. But he always gets really on-edge and upset whenever we hang out, and then takes it out on Katie and she gets mad then too...
Also, Jim randomly acts weird and ever since they started dating has become way different, and many other people agree with me on this... We used to be pretty good friends and now we hardly ever chill together. He doesn't seem to fazed by this. He claims to want to keep hanging out a lot, but puts forth no effort. His mood changes on almost a bi-polar scale. One day he will be down and won't say anything and claims nothing's wrong. The next, he's acting like a total goof and doing things he usually doesn't, which is weird.
I have been waiting to see if Kate'll ever get fed up with any of this, because she always seems so dang stressed out about everything, but she just sits there passively.
I need help on what to do. All I'm doing is sitting back and watching my two best friends in a terrible relationship. I don't feel it's my right to tell them anything. I'm not saying it is. Is there anything I should do?
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#354646 - 05/30/10 09:53 PM
Re: My friends' relationship
[Re: M and M]
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Ineligible
Administrator
Registered: 08/09/01
Posts: 15528
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My feeling is that there is little you can do. You could tell Jim that you think he feels there is something between you and Katie, and that there isn't. But I think that's about all you can do. So often trying to help makes things worse.
People do spend less time with their friends when they are going out with someone. That is natural and to be expected, so that in itself is no cause for alarm. And people do change when they become a couple, especially at the beginning when the emotional intensity is high - that can easily cause mood swings from every little up and down in the relationship.
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