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#354777 - 06/09/10 03:46 AM
Feel bad
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Confused202
Registered: 06/09/10
Posts: 4
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Hello I'm new to this website and figured it's be the best place for help. I just have a problem I think..
I'm almost 20 and this problem has been bugging me for a while. I typically don't officially date girls alot because I believe I'm still young and shouldn't be getting settled down as not to constrict my future goals with school jobs etc. But i still have those sexual Urges that I need to fulfill. I have friends that are girls that will do stuff with me as to fulfill those needs n were just friends but for some reason we can talk about meetn up and I'll be all excited but when
the day comes I tend to blow them off n make an exscuse. For some reason I feel bad doing stuff with a girl like guilty. But I feel like I should be happy that I'm lucky enough to have these friends because typically girls don't do that. I feel like I shouldn't feel guilty because it's an agreement between me and the girl n it's just fun. Nothings wrong with fun right? But then why do I feel guilty. It's not like it's happening every week it's just a rare occasion that at the time I can't pass up. But I end up doing it anyway. Iuno sorry If this went in circles I was having trouble wording it. Any help would be much apprecited.
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#354778 - 06/09/10 06:56 AM
Re: Feel bad
[Re: Confused202]
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Ineligible
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Registered: 08/09/01
Posts: 15528
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Welcome to A2A, Confused202!
It sounds like you have conflicting feelings about sex at this time. There's nothing wrong with that, and there's nothing wrong with waiting until you have sorted out your feelings. There is no hurry.
There could be all sorts of reasons why you might shy away from following through with the arrangements. You might have second thoughts as to whether it is morally right; you might have fears about getting emotionally entangled, or socially committed; you might be afraid you are unfairly exploiting the girl; you might fear what is new; you might have uncertainties about your sexuality; or any of dozens more possible reasons, good or bad. Only you can work out what is underneath your feelings; but take your time.
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#354792 - 06/09/10 09:16 PM
Re: Feel bad
[Re: Ineligible]
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Confused202
Registered: 06/09/10
Posts: 4
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Hey thanks for replying I didn't expect a reply so quickly. I think I've boiled it down to the cause. Before when I learned about sex i always thought i'd wear a condom no problem what's the big deal. Well I had sex with this girl and everything was fine but I lost my hard on so I took
the condom off and everything went back to normal. Now when I try to use condoms i instantly lose my hard on . and it's
embarrassing so I stopped using them and had a pregnancy scare with a girl . So now I don't feel like I can perform well unless I don't wear a condom . but after the scare I want to wear a condom cause it's not worth the risk. I use regular Trojan condoms but can't figure out why it keeps hapening. Any thoughts? Is it all mental?
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#354794 - 06/09/10 10:10 PM
Re: Feel bad
[Re: Confused202]
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Ineligible
Administrator
Registered: 08/09/01
Posts: 15528
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A lot of guys have this problem. First, there can be a physical problem if the condom is too tight. The correct size of condom depends on your penis thickness/girth, not length. A regular condom will stretch to fit a penis that is thicker than average, but the higher pressure makes it more difficult to sustain an erection.
There can be a mental problem if a condom is seen as anti-sexual, or embarrassingly awkward. It is important to get comfortable with using them, practicing by yourself, before using them in action.
I agree with you that you do need to use them, for protection against both pregnancy and STDs.
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#354801 - 06/10/10 03:37 AM
Re: Feel bad
[Re: Ineligible]
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Confused202
Registered: 06/09/10
Posts: 4
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Alright I will give that a shot. Thank you for your help your the best!
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