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#354846 - 06/15/10 08:51 PM

To Tell or Not to Tell...

LittleQ

Registered: 03/24/07
Posts: 170

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Hi:

If you follow my story here, you will remember that I recently (February) lost a 1.5 year relationship when my girlfriend at the time packed her things and left one day while I was at school (Rant II). You may also recall that I mentioned having problems being comfortable enough having sex (Not again... :-().

My current girlfriend, whom I've dated for almost two months, is so amazing and builds me up so much :-). Anyway, after a year and a half of dating my ex, we never really had sex sex...

For some reason, though, this relationship is different, and this is the first woman I have actually had real sex with... plus, we do it quite often. She is much more sexual than my ex, and I really enjoy pleasing her—she can usually come several times while riding me.

Anyway, I have been debating over and over again whether I should tell her this truth... she's the first girl I've had real sex with, the first girl I've cum in, etc. Is this something it would be good to let her know, or is it not worth worrying about? I mean, can any good come from telling her?

LQ

Edited by LittleQ (06/15/10 08:58 PM)

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"It ... stands to reason the the perfect deterrent would never need to be exercised." - unsupervised

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#354847 - 06/15/10 08:58 PM

Re: To Tell or Not to Tell... [Re: LittleQ]

sdp
Administrator

Registered: 12/29/00
Posts: 13671
Loc: San Diego, California

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Whats the point in telling her? Does it really matter?

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#354854 - 06/16/10 12:09 AM

Re: To Tell or Not to Tell... [Re: LittleQ]

Roc
Moderator

Registered: 08/20/02
Posts: 3225
Loc: Dallas,TX USA , Planet Earth

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That's up to you... Personally I like my partner knowing everything. It's makes "US" special

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#354857 - 06/16/10 01:16 AM

Re: To Tell or Not to Tell... [Re: Roc]

StephieJ
longstanding member

Registered: 01/07/03
Posts: 6284
Loc: Ontario, Canada

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i agree.

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Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.

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#354863 - 06/16/10 01:32 PM

Re: To Tell or Not to Tell... [Re: LittleQ]

*CR!*

Registered: 01/17/09
Posts: 402

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I think both spd and roc are right. Lol I don’t see a reason why you have to tell her. It don’t matter.

If you really want to tell her, I wouldn’t just blurt it out and say ..You’re my first.. Bla blaa I’d be more sappy-romantic and shit about it. Women love that shit. Lol while petting on her or cuddling or some of that shit tell her. Actually Shannon loves it when I kiss on her and whisper it in her ear. Then tell her how you haven’t had this with anyone else and … yea something like that. Focus on the enjoyment of being with her not so much being on what you did and didn’t do with your ex’s.

Shannon and i know just about everything about the other.

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#354867 - 06/16/10 09:37 PM

Re: To Tell or Not to Tell... [Re: *CR!*]

Roc
Moderator

Registered: 08/20/02
Posts: 3225
Loc: Dallas,TX USA , Planet Earth

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If she does then why wouldn't you be honest about it being the first time you have ever really enjoyed sex with her and that you love doing and trying new things together sexually.

I always say being completely honest with your partner/ girl friend/ wife is always the best policy

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-Roc-

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#355935 - 08/16/10 04:41 PM

Re: To Tell or Not to Tell... [Re: LittleQ]

ScrewUp

Registered: 08/16/10
Posts: 5
Loc: Georgia

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If she cared about it then I would think she would ask you. If she does ask then I don't think it's a big deal to admit it. I think you should always be honest in a relationship.

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-The only thing necessary for evil to prevail, is for good men to do nothing.

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#355936 - 08/16/10 04:43 PM

Re: To Tell or Not to Tell... [Re: *CR!*]

ScrewUp

Registered: 08/16/10
Posts: 5
Loc: Georgia

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Sounds like you are a lucky guy *CR!*

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-The only thing necessary for evil to prevail, is for good men to do nothing.

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#356192 - 09/21/10 04:15 AM

Re: To Tell or Not to Tell... [Re: Roc]

Kazak

Registered: 09/21/10
Posts: 24
Loc: Arizona

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Originally Posted By: Roc

That's up to you... Personally I like my partner knowing everything. It's makes "US" special

Yes, of course that is certainly something one should do after it feels like a real relationship, but in the case of the OP's situation, I would say 2 months is much too fast to say things like this. I mean people can be lusting over each other even after a years worth of dating. But of course there are certainly cases where people have become in love after practically one day of dating and live happily ever after.

Personally, I would just take it easy and slow. If she feels the same way about you, then she will also take as much time as you two need. There is no reason to getting ahead of yourselves. Neither of you are getting shipped to Antarctica tomorrow where you will never be able to see each other again. Plus, you aren't "hurting" the relationship by not telling her those things now. Sure, you may be able to strengthen the relationship by telling her those things, but you definitely are not going to hurt it by telling her something she doesn't know at the moment.

I always thought of relationships like building a skyscraper. If you build it up to fast, your foundation may be weak and your columns leading up to the top of the building may be thin. So if an earthquake or a huge gust of wind came, this whole building might come tumbling down as quick as it was built. However, if you get to know her slowly and work your way up, you have a good chance to end up with something magical that won't falter when adversity arises.

So like I said, why go too fast? I'm guessing you aren't getting shipped somewhere and you're clearly not 80 years old wondering when the Grim Reaper may appear. Take it easy, if she feels the same about you, then she isn't going to mind. If it is meant to be, everything will slowly fall into place and you will one day have a beautiful Burg Khalifa built.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/2/2f/Burj_Khalifa_building.jpg

Edited by Ineligible (09/21/10 05:23 AM)
Edit Reason: Made link work

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