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#355212 - 07/05/10 07:52 PM
Boredom has officially
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aquarius
Registered: 10/10/08
Posts: 111
Loc: Indiana
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made me do the most retarded thing I think I have ever done. I know it may seem like it's a waste of time to try to get him back, but since I'm bored, I have nothing better to do. I don't blast his phone with texts or calls or anything. I'm just silently waiting until I see him again, whenever that will be.
So right now, the person I was kind of seeing is being a jack ass. In order for me to stop myself from texting him at the moment since we aren't speaking, etc. and I told him he no longer exists to me to make us not talk to each other, I have decided to write letters to him.
Like if I'm tempted to text him, that's when I'll write him a letter. I have it in a little black book.
The hilarious thing is he's just right down the street from me, but...I'm not going to go over there when he doesn't want me there, although I am VERY tempted also to do that.
I wrote how it may seem crazy that I'm writing him a book of letters (though it's not every page, just sometimes), but there are crazier things that a girl could do which I'm not like that. Like for example, I read online this one girl saved this dude's she really liked sperm from the first time that they did it...gross.
I wrote him all I do is write him letters and think about him, that's it...no shrine, no saving anything, and no burning property of his or kicking his ass even though someone should ... hehe.
If I see him out randomly one night some time, I'm thinking about giving him these letters. I can't decide if I should or not. Haha, do you think I should? Would you? Part of me just wants to see his reaction to the "book," LOL.
He said he likes reading...so this is something to read right?
This is definitely the first person I've kinda went out with that I have ever written letters to and like writing to him, lmfao.
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#355236 - 07/07/10 09:27 PM
Re: Boredom has officially
[Re: aquarius]
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TangledWeb
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Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 557
Loc: Texas
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I would talk to him, especially he was being a jerk and not making me feel wanted. I think you should just wait and let your feelings past. I'd worry that, since he's being a "jack ass", he would take the personal letters written and intended for him and show them or talk about them to other people. If you want to keep the letter private, consider that possibility. If you're interested in reconciliation...I guess you should talk to him. I wouldn't, especially if I felt like the feeling wasn't mutual and the guy had really been a jerk prior to us not speaking.
I guess by big question for you is: What does you instinct say?
_________________________
I've come this far, I ain't turning back.
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#355241 - 07/08/10 10:23 AM
Re: Boredom has officially
[Re: aquarius]
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StephieJ
longstanding member
Registered: 01/07/03
Posts: 6284
Loc: Ontario, Canada
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Is this the same guy who said he didnt want anything serious??
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Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.
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#355245 - 07/08/10 03:16 PM
Re: Boredom has officially
[Re: StephieJ]
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aquarius
Registered: 10/10/08
Posts: 111
Loc: Indiana
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ya it's that same one that gave me chlamydia, too. for someone who doesn't want anything all serious he's making it out to be one of the most complicated "non-relationships" i've ever been in, lol.
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#355246 - 07/08/10 03:28 PM
Re: Boredom has officially
[Re: aquarius]
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aquarius
Registered: 10/10/08
Posts: 111
Loc: Indiana
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Oh, you're right! i never thought about him showing the letters to people. I hope he doesn't do that. i'm curious as to whether or not he threw away this one letter when i thought i wasn't gonna talk to him anymore. i think i might just write one, keep it in my purse. and if i see him out randomly one night unplanned, then i might give it to him then. but not drop it off in the mailbox even though he's right down the street from me, lol.
My instincts are saying I should wait for him for some odd reason. I have definitely tried to talk to new people when I haven't been talking to him but I wouldn't let myself for some reason forget about him and still keep waiting for him. =/. I mean there has got to be a reason right that I won't allow myself to forget about him 
for a while we tried to be friends, but i told him i don't like how every time i start talking to him again, he does something or says something to make me mad. then i told him it's summer and it's incredibly boring and it's really hard for me not to talk to him, especially since i just de-friended quite a few fake friends, most of which i talked to a lot and hung out with. i feel like i have no one now. and when he wasn't on this crap he was a good person to talk to about everything.
he said he is tired of me changing my mind, but the thing is, he does the same thing as me, too. i told him i couldn't talk to him a few weeks ago, then changed my mind and said i made a mistake in not being his friend and if he really meant it we could be friends. things were okay for a few days but then he told me something that pissed me off so much...he said he had this red rash around the corner of his lip for like a week now (does this sound like some form of herpes on the mouth?). i'm like wtf, he definitely didn't get that from me and that's when i told him he no longer exists to me.
i already told him he could do whatever he wanted since we weren't really together, and he had insisted before he was only messing with me. well i keep seeing that he keeps getting nasty stuff which makes me obviously think he's been messing around with someone else even though he says he hasn't. i haven't seen him since may and definitely haven't done anything with him since i found out the first thing and the second thing...and this time i really wanted to be done with him...
but since i have been incredibly bored, i sent him these facebook messages last sunday saying, i guess we don't have to see each other, but maybe we can talk sometimes? and he replied with he doesn't wish to hang out with me or talk to me at this time and that we should just stick with not having to do anything with each other...so then i was like fine. i seriously thought that was the final time i would say goodbye to him.
two days later, from that, which was last night,
i am on facebook chat...i see him on and i really want to talk to him, but i tell myself no. lol, he sends me a facebook chat first. i'm like wtf, we just said good bye like two days ago and he acts like we never said goodbye at all. i figured we wouldn't talk for at least a while. sigh...then i decided if he wants to message me first sometimes, i guess he can, but i'm going to try to refrain myself from messaging him first anymore.
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#355250 - 07/09/10 01:13 AM
Re: Boredom has officially
[Re: aquarius]
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TangledWeb
member
Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 557
Loc: Texas
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I'd never want to talk to the guy that gave me an STD ever again.
I think he may be the kind of guy that likes to have a lady waiting around for him, but only when he wants to talk, or when he gets bored, when he wants something. I think you should go and do the things you like and meet other like minded people. This guy doesn't seem like much of a catch.
If you de-friend him on Facebook, you see when he's online or see his status message.
What are you waiting for? What do you think a relationship with him will bring? Is there something special about him that over looks the negative interactions you've had with him (i.e. STDs)? Why do you want to remember him or talk to him? I guess these are important questions to ask yourself.
_________________________
I've come this far, I ain't turning back.
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#355256 - 07/09/10 02:54 PM
Re: Boredom has officially
[Re: TangledWeb]
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aquarius
Registered: 10/10/08
Posts: 111
Loc: Indiana
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I'm not sure why I'm waiting. I definitely thought about not talking to him ever again because of the STD but I guess it's because I still have this little hope thinking that the person I first met when we started hanging out would come back.
He was the first guy I have ever hung out with, that didn't bring a lot of drama (e.g. crazy psycho exes blasting my phone and talking shit about me just because I was with their exes - none of that) or bullshit. For a while, it was truly on cloud 9 and drama free. He also liked talking to me and wanted to get to know me and I could talk to him about everything...something the previous guys never bothered to do thinking they could just get in and get out...but I am not about that.
I was okay with it not being a serious relationship because I have wanted for the longest time just to have fun with somebody and then maybe eventually leading to a relationship. ALL of the guys before him just asked me out right away when they first met me and I was kind of glad that he did not want to go out with me so soon.
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#355276 - 07/11/10 03:44 AM
Re: Boredom has officially
[Re: aquarius]
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TangledWeb
member
Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 557
Loc: Texas
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There's something I heard Oprah say on her show: 'When someone shows you who they are, believe them.' From what you said he doesn't seem like the guy you first met. It doesn't sound like he has the important qualities vital to a relationship, trust being one.
I think you should take a chance, have some faith that there are better things, people, out there for you. You are (as are we all) good enough to be loved the way you want. If you're willing to wait on this dude, I'm sure you have it in you leave this guy alone and wait to find someone better. No one falls in love just once, and there isn't just one person out there for us, there are other good matches. You just don't get one good break or great love in your lifetime. There are many good things among the bad.
It sounds like you want friendship with the possibility of a relationship. You should make sure that the other person is open to this even if you are just friends or just hanging out first. It doesn't seem like he wants that, again you guys aren't on the same page.
_________________________
I've come this far, I ain't turning back.
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#355294 - 07/12/10 09:11 PM
Re: Boredom has officially
[Re: TangledWeb]
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aquarius
Registered: 10/10/08
Posts: 111
Loc: Indiana
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I think when I told him that he has a STD that's when he mostly changed because I think he's in denial about it. I'm thinking he got it from the person before me and he didn't know. I talked to him on the phone Friday (I'm still shocked there are guys who like to talk on the phone, lol, because guys before me only texted or facebooked me) and asked him if he's done anything about it yet and it didn't sound like he did. And it was like over a month ago that I found out we had it. I guess it's good that we aren't hanging out for a while I definitely don't want to get it again.
We have agreed to be friends who just talk and don't see each other at the moment, though it is hard, but I guess the STD thing is making it a quicker way for me to get over him if he still doesn't do anything about it. I definitely have friends who are girls who are far worse of friends than he is. I will just be a regular friend for now. IDK if I should start talking to other people or just do whatever I need for school and work now =/
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#355296 - 07/13/10 04:50 AM
Re: Boredom has officially
[Re: aquarius]
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TangledWeb
member
Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 557
Loc: Texas
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Well, focusing on school and/or work sounds like a good distraction.
I think we both need to be around more positive, good (nice, polite, thoughtful), people. All the negativity just gets old.
_________________________
I've come this far, I ain't turning back.
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#355433 - 07/20/10 07:08 PM
Re: Boredom has officially
[Re: TangledWeb]
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aquarius
Registered: 10/10/08
Posts: 111
Loc: Indiana
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lol yeah it definitely does. so for some time now, i have been trying to get him to see me a last time so we could talk about things in person and so i could say goodbye to him. he says he can't and that it would only complicate matters. i thought he didn't even want to see me anyway...so i don't see why it would be so hard for him to say it to me.
i told him how i tried to accept that he wouldn't see me and to accept the goodbyes online in letters and texts, and that i had tried talking to other people after that, but it just didn't cut it for me...i need a good bye in person i said and that i think that is the reason why i haven't allowed myself to be interested in anyone else.
it's ridiculous how he made me drop off his stuff at his house instead of talking face to face...especially when he lives right around the corner from me to the point where i sometimes pass his house even if i don't want to because a friend of mine lives near him, too.
i reminded him that a while ago he wrote me that i should do what is best for me, hahaha. i hope using his own words against him will do the trick because although he cannot say goodbye face to face, that is what i think i need.
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#355471 - 07/23/10 05:31 AM
Re: Boredom has officially
[Re: aquarius]
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TangledWeb
member
Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 557
Loc: Texas
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I think you're trying to make yourself believe that he has feelings that he doesn't. It seems like you're trying to bring him back into your life, he knows this, and is trying not to have that happen.
If he isn't making and effort to get back with you or see you (which would be further complicating the situation), leave him be. I don't think he feels as connected to you as you do to him. Bringing him back into the picture is only going to make things worse, I think he fears this as well. Your making things complicated....
_________________________
I've come this far, I ain't turning back.
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#355638 - 08/05/10 05:12 PM
Re: Boredom has officially
[Re: TangledWeb]
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Declined
Registered: 08/05/10
Posts: 20
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I'd never want to talk to the guy that gave me an STD ever again.
I think he may be the kind of guy that likes to have a lady waiting around for him, but only when he wants to talk, or when he gets bored, when he wants something.
what she said
seriously, dude gives you the clap you should pretty much be done with him right there. i think a person having an std and giving it to someone else pretty much says all you need to know about their character
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