posted July 31, 2002 10:36 PM            

I'm looking for one that will look more like an accidental death.

I've thought of putting 20% worth of gas in the car and placing additional containers of flammables around me and then crashing the car into a concrete bridge support at 100 MPH but 1. It's my parents car and I don't want to leave them without a vehicle, 2. It may look like a suicide and then everyone will have to know about it and it will make me look like a fuck up.

This isn't a joke and don't try to talk me out of it by telling me to call some bullshit hotline.

Life sucks and I'm 16 and still a virgin with no hope of ever getting a decent girl.

If you'd like to help then just gimme some ideas to put me out of my misery.

posted August 01, 2002 02:03 PM            

I believe...

BEFORE a person kills himself - he should FIRST be willing to 'die' of embarrassment. In other words - be willing to DO something even IF other people might not understand OR approve of it. This world is a HUGE place. Before leaving it - why not SEE it. Why not experience it. Do something you've NEVER done before. Go for a long walk. Take up jogging or gardening. Go on a trip. HELP SOMEONE ELSE!! [now THERE'S A THOUGHT!!] There are a LOT of people in this world who would consider YOU an 'angel' IF ONLY you were willing to DO something to help them. [like work at a food bank - or visit some little kid dying of cancer] Far too often we tend to become so wrapped up in OUR 'little world' that we forget that there are literally millions of things to see and millions of things to do. To judge the WORLD [and life itself] based on OUR little corner of it - really isn't fair. When people become depressed [or suicidal] their world becomes narrow. The more depressed they become - the more narrow their world becomes. Eventually - their world becomes SO narrow that they can convince themselves that it really doesn't matter IF they are dead of alive. [which is a LIE - because it DOES matter] Depressed people are very self-centered people and the more depressed they get - the more self-centered they become. [I know - I'm often depressed] The only way to really break free of depression [even IF 'it' is caused by some sort of chemical imbalance] is to focus on OTHER people. [as difficult as that will be to do] We often GET from this world exactly what we GIVE. If a person GIVES nothing - he usually GETS nothing.

Sound far too simple?? IF it's so simple - then why not do it - FIRST - and see what happens. Experience LIFE - BEFORE you experience death.

Take care of yourself. [and take care of someone else - TOO]

posted August 02, 2002 03:41 AM            

I'm aware of that previous message. [the you referred us to] HOWEVER - whenever I respond to a message I try to keep in mind that EVEN IF the person I'm responding to is NOT 'on the level' - maybe someone ELSE who reads my message will get something from it.

posted August 27, 2002 04:02 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Craig:
Far too often we tend to become so wrapped up in OUR 'little world' that we forget that there are literally millions of things to see and millions of things to do. To judge the WORLD [and life itself] based on OUR little corner of it - really isn't fair. When people become depressed [or suicidal] their world becomes narrow. The more depressed they become - the more narrow their world becomes. Eventually - their world becomes SO narrow that they can convince themselves that it really doesn't matter IF they are dead of alive. [which is a LIE - because it DOES matter] Depressed people are very self-centered people and the more depressed they get - the more self-centered they become. [I know - I'm often depressed] The only way to really break free of depression [even IF 'it' is caused by some sort of chemical imbalance] is to focus on OTHER people. [as difficult as that will be to do] We often GET from this world exactly what we GIVE. If a person GIVES nothing - he usually GETS nothing.

---

posted August 30, 2002 03:40 AM            

I'm really sorry that you're having such a tough time.

It's all about BALANCE. Just as it is NOT good for us to focus entirely on US and our own problems [all the time] it's NOT good to entirely focus on OTHER people's problems. [or on the problems going on in the world]

I often avoid watching the news. I don't NEED to SEE images of people doing horrible things to each other. [especially since I can't do ANYTHING about it] Sometimes it's good for us to avoid the 'news'. It's also [sometimes] good for us to back away from someone who IS having problems. It took me years to realize that I do NOT always have to 'be there' for everyone. It IS 'OK' for me to say, "no - I'm sorry - I can't help you with that problem." I'll admit - I always feel a bit guilty when I DON'T help someone - but I have a right [and so do you] to say NO.

The first thing you HAVE to do is STOP thinking of yourself as a 'reject'. Not only is that a horrible name to call yourself - it's also NOT TRUE. You are a very compassion person. In fact - you care SO much about the world around you that it has negatively effected your life. This world desparately NEEDS people like you BUT - for your OWN sake - you are going to have to give yourself permission to back away from situations that are causing YOU harm. [and you have a 'right' to do that]

IF you really DO want to make this world a better place - you're going to have to be strong. AND.. the only way to BE strong is take care of YOUR needs - TOO. If you're hungry - eat. If you're tired - sleep. AND.. if you're feeling overwhelmed by something that is going on around you - back away from it until you have more strength. You might even discover that the 'problem' you were trying to deal with would be better off if you didn't get involved. [I hope that makes sense]

I've always been a very sensitive person. I've always been frustrated by my inability to do anything to make this world a better place. It wasn't until I realized that the only 'world' that I'm responsible for is the one around ME - did I feel less burdened by all of the problems going on. IF I know in my heart that I CAN'T do anything about something [that's going on in this world OR with someone I know] then I TRY not to get involved. [emotionally]

IF you think of yourself as a 'reject' or a 'freak' - then PLEASE read my 'Be A Freak' page. You might like it.

I hope I helped you - even just a little bit. If not - please know that I wouldn't have invested an hours worth of my time writing this message [to YOU] if I didn't CARE.

GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!!

Be_A_Freak http://CanadaCraig.homestead.com/freak.html