“Hey man, Can you help me move?”
It’s a question that we will all be asked one day. Eventually we all move from the spot that we are in and most likely we will need help doing it. Before you answer the question above, imagine that you are in your friends situation. You have a ton of stuff to move out of your parent’s basement and into your new apartment. You have years worth of clothes, furniture, knick-knacks and doo-dads all over the place and you know that it’ll take ages to put it all in boxes, load the boxes, unload the boxes and finally unpack the boxes. You wish that you had someone other than your mother to help you because she can’t really lift the heavy stuff and you don’t have the money to pay a professional moving service. It’s almost a nightmare just thinking about it.
So what can you do? Suck it up and do it by yourself is always an option. After all, no major step in your life is going to be easy but it doesn’t have to be torturous and painful. Another option is to pay a professional moving company but you’re too cheap, you don’t trust them or you just don’t have the money to do so and finally, you can call a friend. Call up a buddy, tell him that you are moving to your new apartment and you need a hand for the heavy stuff. Promise them lunch and a few beers and most people will jump at the chance (I would!).
Now back to the original situation. You are sitting on your couch playing Pokémon Black Version 2 for your beloved DS and your phone rings and a buddy asks you if you can help him move. DAMN HIM, HE INTERRUPTED MY GYM BATTLE. Tell him that you’d love to help and finish the battle, put the DS down and go help him. You’ll form a stronger bond with that person in the process because they learn that they can count on you when they need help.
Being a helpful friend is almost the entirety of friendship. Useless friends is a weird term but people do have useless friends. You don’t want to be a useless friend. It doesn’t mean that anytime that anyone calls on you for help that you have to help. If it is something that they can really manage on their own and you don’t want to help, that’s perfectly fine. Just politely decline and give them some reason why you can’t, preferably a true reason. You have your own life to live but helping out other people should be a part of it.
I’ve mentioned before that someone once told me that if I make my living helping out people that I’ll be truly happy and that person was right. Every day in both jobs that I work, I help people through situations that they didn’t know they could get out of or situations that someone or something else put them in and the needed help. I love my jobs and I wouldn’t change them for the world.
So I’ve motivated you to become the most helpful friend on Earth. What do you do? How do you let people know that you are willing to help them? Ready for the answer!?… TELL THEM. When someone tells you something that they are struggling with, if you feel like you can help them, let them know. Most people (myself included) are too proud to ask for help. They feel like if they ask for help then whatever obstacle or situation they overcome will somehow be lessened if they didn’t do it on their own. It’s not true. Asking for help means that you understand your limits and what you have difficulties with. If you need help with something, ask for it. If you sense that a friend needs help with something then ask them if they need it.
Right now, some of you are thinking, “All of this information is all well and good but how is it going to help me make friends in the first place. I’d love to help a friend move a couch but I have no friends to help.” Fear not! Anyone you talk to on a day to day basis may need help with something. Don’t go around asking people you see in the mall if they need help carrying their bags, that’ll get you arrested and you’ll be called creepy for the rest of forever. Slowly but surely you’ll meet people that need help. Always extend your hand for them. You’ll never know how they’ll repay you.
What do you guys think? Anything that I missed? How can you offer help to someone that needs it but won’t admit it? Let everyone know in the forums and the comments below!