Regardless of who initiates, a breakup is never fun. The purpose of this article is not to discourage breakups since not all relationships are healthy. It’s important to realize the costs of a breakup and to put precautions in place. Creating a good safety net improves your chances of either moving on or repairing the relationship. So what are the three C’s you lose because of a breakup?
Feeling like you’re “not good enough” almost always comes up. This is especially true if your ex rebounds. Ending a relationship can be a huge confidence killer. Parting ways with someone who knew you intimately can open doors to a lot of things. Amongst the worst things that can happen include having the world know all your embarrassing secrets.
Rebuilding confidence is one of the hardest things to do.
Take the time to really focus on things that you’re good at. Focusing on maximizing your career, education, or hobbies can help you realize that despite not having a relationship, you’re capable at many other things. The worst thing you can do for your confidence is nothing at all.
I’ve seen many relationships where the couple only spends time with each other. This leads to other relationships waning and friends feeling like they’re out of the loop. Once a breakup happens, loneliness can set in pretty quickly. Not only do you lose the person you spend the most time with, you realized that you’ve alienated everyone else.
Your true friends will always be there for you. It’s easy to allow them to forgive and reconnect if you let it happen. Reach out to your best friends, visit family, and make the connections you’ve always wanted. You never know, these opportunities can open doors you otherwise wouldn’t have realized.
A lot of shared costs become full individual costs. Things like rent/mortgage/utilities/insurance can add up pretty quickly. The financial side of life can be easy to ignore especially when you’re on an emotional rollercoaster. Take the time and make a list of all the new expenses you’re going to be responsible for. It may make sense to cut back on spending and to budget accordingly.
Have you had a breakup before? What have you done to get out of it?